Solana (SOL), that cheeky digital darling, is currently trading near $193-a smidge off its recent peak of $210 but still strutting around like a peacock compared to its 2024 low. Why? Because a shiny new Solana ETF has investors tripping over themselves to get a piece of the pie 🥧. And oh, what a pie it is!
The banking behemoth, in its infinite wisdom, prophesies a 25 basis point (bps) haircut during the Fed’s September soiree (16th-17th). The New York Post, ever the eager herald, trumpets this revelation as if it were the gospel itself. 📜📰
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Let’s be real: HBAR’s fate is stuck in Bitcoin’s shadow like a lost sock in a laundromat drama 🧦🧼. If BTC pulls a Houdini and escapes its current doldrums, maybe-*maybe*-HBAR gets a seat at the recovery table. But don’t hold your breath.
Word on the digital street (in a post on X, the only platform where billion-dollar moves are recapped with emojis and ill-fitting gifs) is that Tom Lee’s latest financial contraption went berserk for Ethereum. Picture this: tens of thousands of ETH, scooped up in under 10 hours. Somewhere out there, a poor intern’s keyboard is being surgically removed from their fingertips. 💻💔
Meanwhile, Monero’s developers are waving their hands and saying, “Eh, maybe it’s an overreaction.” But let’s be honest-when one mining pool gets the power of a small country, the network’s security is about as stable as a Jenga tower in an earthquake. And investors? They’re nervously eyeing their wallets, thinking, “Is mine next for the reorg remix?”
It’s been five years since Strategy’s Bitcoin (BTC) buying spree began on August 11, 2020. What started as a bold experiment now looks more like an unshakable obsession. The company holds 628,946 BTC at an average entry price of $73,288 per coin. At today’s prices, that stash is worth around $74.45 billion-a tidy profit of 61.52%. Not bad for someone whose main skill seems to be wearing bow ties and making spreadsheets look sexy. 💼📈
Imagine your national currency is the friend who always “forgets” their wallet. People ditch it for digital dollars living in apps, group chats, or that sketchy guy who hangs out behind the bakery. No banks, no queues, no “system is down.” Just vibes, memes, and instant settlement. 🥖📱
Now, the plot thickens. Our old friend, the Coin Days Destroyed (CDD)-the market’s weary historian-has shown a startling decline after its recent frenzy. Think of it as the long-term holders-those antiquarians of cryptoland-deciding to keep their coins in the attic instead of hitting sell. As their activity wanes, it’s like a detective’s cloak of silence signaling that the selling spree of the ancient coins has finally taken a coffee break, easing the pressure just enough to keep the ship afloat amid the stormy seas. 🕰️🔑
The Board cheekily declared, “To make life easier, we’re officially saying sayonara to our novel activities supervision program. From now on, we’ll keep an eye on those naughty digital activities… the usual way, darling.” 😏