This aberrant foray into the rarefied realm of altcoins, solemnly detailed in an official statement, serves only to underscore the creeping sense of desperation that seems to be gripping corporate treasuries the world over. It appears that the zeitgeist has decreed that Bitcoin is passé, and the only way to appear au courant is to diversify with all due haste.
According to the official announcement, users can start trading AAVEUSDC perpetual contracts from 8:30 UTC today, and UNIUSDC perpetual contracts from 8:45 UTC. Because who needs a morning coffee when you can have a crypto trading session, am I right? ☕️
In 2021, this might have seemed like a minor inconvenience, akin to a mosquito buzzing in your ear. But now, in this new cycle, the competition for users has exploded like popcorn in a microwave. Projects must think long-term, optimizing for sustainability, sovereignty, and alignment. And guess what? They’re increasingly turning to app-specific “appchain” layer 1s—not as a quirky trend, but as a necessity. Who knew? 🤷♂️
Krueger’s argument is that them old market cycles were driven by the halving of block rewards, but nowadays it’s the institutional demand that’s calling the shots. And we’re not just talking about your run-of-the-mill institutional demand, neither. No sirree, we’re talking about the big boys: Bitcoin ETFs and treasury-focused buyers. As Krueger puts it, “The reduction from 450 BTC/day to 225 BTC/day is minor when ETFs and treasury companies are collectively buying 5,000 BTC per day.” That’s like saying a gnat is a minor nuisance when you’ve got a swarm of locusts on your hands!
With a solid weekly close and a jaunt past $107,000, BTC/USD is flexing its muscles as Wall Street returns. Who knew crypto could be so dramatic? 💪
Mr. Saylor, a gentleman of considerable repute in the realm of cryptocurrency, did express his unwavering support for Pakistan’s lofty Bitcoin aspirations. It is said that he offered his sage advice on the construction of a long-term strategy for this digital currency, as if he were a wise old owl imparting knowledge to eager fledglings. 🦉
A 26-year-old TikTok influencer, no doubt a titan of the digital realm with a whopping 40,000 followers, was the latest target in this troubling trend. According to local outlet Europe 1, the poor soul was abducted late Friday night while returning home in Juvisy-sur-Orge, a residential commune in the southern suburbs of Paris. He was forced into a stolen vehicle by four men, and then reportedly beaten and tortured. Ah, the humanity! 😱
In a delightful twist of fate, the Tokyo-based company procured 1,112 BTC for a princely sum of $117.2 million, at an average price of $105,435 per Bitcoin. CEO Simon Gerovich, ever the showman, announced this on X, as if it were the latest gossip from the high society of cryptocurrency. This purchase has propelled its holdings above Coinbase’s modest 9,267, according to the ever-reliable BitcoinTreasuries.com.
In a bold move that would make even the most daring of gamblers blush, BlackRock is setting its sights on a staggering $400 billion from its clients over the next five years. Why, you ask? To double its operating income and stock price by 2030, of course! The Wall Street Journal has the scoop, and it’s juicier than a ripe peach in summer.
With the geopolitical situation resembling a bad game of Risk, gold is looking like a safe bet. It’s already had a cracking year, rising over 20% and breaking all-time highs with reckless abandon 📈. But the clever folks at Bank of America think it’s got more room to grow.
