Crypto news

Meanwhile, the noble arena of crypto markets-where dreams are born and crushed faster than a house of cards-decided to take a breather. Report has it that the Senate Banking Committee, that stalwart guardian of financial wisdom, decided to delay the sacred crypto legislation bill, much to the despair of investors whose hearts beat only for the thrill of constant chaos. President Trump, ever the jester, took a brief pause from tariffs, but alas, not enough to stir the sluggish tides.

Behold the rise of World Liberty Financial’s USD1 stablecoin as it smirks down at PayPal’s PYUSD from its lofty perch. Eric Trump took to X like a proud parent, proclaiming the triumph as part of a grander scheme to construct a digital dollar empire. Because who doesn’t want another empire, right?

This arrangement squeezes genuine directional conviction into a tiny, polite box, making the next responses at the $2,700 support zone as crucial as a friendly hug to a bewildered asteroid.

Bitcoin, ever the ambitious actor, tried a bold exit into the limelight this morning, only to have a stern usher step up at $91,000 and politely shut it down. Thus the coin left the stage looking slightly crestfallen.

The dynamic duo concocted a scheme so audacious, it involved a fraudulent $15,625 Paycheck Protection Plan (PPP) loan. Because, you know, why work for money when you can just make it appear out of thin air? The Small Business Administration (SBA), bless their trusting hearts, guaranteed the loan under the CARES Act, which was supposed to help those poor souls hit hard by the COVID-19 pandemic. Turns out, these two were more hit by the “get rich quick” bug.

The Farce Unfolds in Acts

At block height 933408, Bitcoin’s mining difficulty setting slipped by 3.28%, and for the next two weeks—or precisely 2,016 blocks—it will sit at 141.67 trillion, a quieter dial setting that gives miners a brief moment to catch their breath.

Technically speaking (because we all love a bit of jargon), DASH’s January rally was like a rocket launch-exciting, fast, and leaving everyone wondering if they should have strapped in tighter. It peaked near $96.5 before deciding, “You know what? Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” The pullback, however, was more of a graceful retreat than a panicked sell-off. Think of it as profit-taking with a side of “I’ll just leave this here for now.” Downside pressure? Limited. Upside potential? Well, that’s where things get interesting.

Key Takeaways

Ah, Binance, the titan of the cryptocurrency realm, hath prostrated itself before the Hellenic Capital Market Commission (HCMC) in Athens, seeking the sacred MiCA license. This, dear reader, is no mere bureaucratic trifle, but a quest to secure its dominion in the EU’s crypto arena.