Crypto news

The app is strategically positioned to let users hold their own private keys-because nothing says “trustworthy” like holding on to your own fate. Use bitcoin wherever it’s accepted, and euros everywhere else (because apparently, that’s still the main currency). All this without the headache of juggling five different apps or visiting some shady exchange. Aimed at seasoned bitcoin enthusiasts, freelancers, and remote workers scattered across the vast European continent-plus the occasional newbie who thinks crypto is just a trend-Bringin strives for the holy grail of simplicity: one app to rule them all.

Now, the moment we’ve all been waiting for-a big ole “uh-oh!” as it stumbles right into a brick wall of overhead resistance. Bouncing off that wall faster than a ping-pong ball at a family picnic! 🏓

This index is like a financial salad bar – 35 publicly traded firms and 15 leading cryptocurrencies, all tossed together in a bowl of uncertainty. So far, only 10 of the crypto crew have RSVP’d, and S&P is keeping the stock guest list tighter than a Bridgerton ball. 🕵️‍♀️

On October 2, Pollak took to X (because who needs Twitter anymore, right?) to express his shock and awe at the flood of feedback. Apparently, two weeks of input was enough to leave him “blown away.” Now that’s the kind of enthusiasm we all need when discussing the future of a cryptocurrency token, isn’t it?

In a move that would make a wizard at a accountants’ convention tip their hat, Rezolve Ai has snapped up Smartpay, the payments platform that danced through roughly 19 million transactions and racked up just over a billion dollars in the year ending September 30, 2025. The numbers do the talking, but not in a language that comes with subtitles for the learning-friendly herd. 😏💸

Indeed, the tariff bombshell of April, that most explosive of announcements, sent XRP tumbling like a poorly balanced teacup. Within days, its price dropped a modest 20%, retreating below the $1.80 mark in a manner that would have made Mr. Babbit of Wodehouse’s Right Ho, Jeeves weep into his crumpet. Yet, as Santiment so sagely observes, this is not all doom and gloom. For two of the past three days, the market has been awash with bearish chatter, a curious phenomenon that, in the parlance of financial alchemists, is “a promising buy signal.” After all, when the little investors shriek in terror, the market, like a well-trained spaniel, leaps in the opposite direction.

Lots of activity, a DMI of 26 (whatever *that* means), suggesting strength. But also, a Stochastic RSI saying “hold on a sec, things might get wobbly.” Honestly, just trying to decipher crypto charts gives me a headache. 😩

Mr. Van Code did remark, with a noticeable air of superiority, that Ripple shall not be a bank in the common, retail-style – a revelation following their admittance into the lofty ranks of the ABA. Though a piece of news, he claims, the application for a Fed Master account is the truly interesting development. One wonders, however, if the general market comprehends such intricacies, given the XRP price remains, as he puts it, “hovering around a somewhat trifling $3.”

Ah, comrades, behold the tragedy of high-performance computing firm IREN (IREN)-its stock, that whimsical barometer of toiling dreams, slipped a mocking 6% post-market under Tuesday’s indifferent sky.

The past week has seen the markets expand to all-time highs, a spectacle as absurd as a goose attempting to conduct an orchestra. Yet, here we are, clutching our charts and graphs like talismans, convinced that this time, surely, the bull will charge forth with the grace of a drunken walrus. 🐂