Crypto news

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Yes. The same America where stability is measured not in dollars, nor in trust, but in stablecoin pumps and post-prison Twitter likes. The interview slithered to a close like a snake shedding its skin – 90 minutes of politics, and crypto appeared at the very end, unexpected, slick, and smelling faintly of Binance.

Mark my words, the world’s gone plumb loco. Crypto.com and Hollywood.com have teamed up like a riverboat gambler and a carnival barker to let you wager on movies, TV shows, and even whether your favorite celebrity will trip on the red carpet. 🤡🎟️ Announced on Nov. 3, this partnership is like mixing fireworks and gunpowder-exciting, but somebody’s bound to lose a finger.

Fibonacci retracement levels, them golden numbers, suggest he could pocket up to $20M if BTC and ETH bounce back like a jackrabbit in a poker game. Now that’s a real long shot-unless you’re a whale.

Chainlink’s been busy, folks-so busy that it’s got the Central Bank of Brazil and Hong Kong’s Monetary Authority waltzing in real-time cross-border settlements. While the analysts sip their coffee and mutter about a $15 “buy zone” for LINK, one can’t help but wonder: Is this the start of a crypto gold rush, or just a clever parlor trick? Only time will tell, but let’s just say the market’s watching with the patience of a cat eyeing a sparrow.

Okay, so the crypto market had a little tantrum in October after the US dropped 100% tariffs on China. But don’t worry, Trump and Xi met, played nice, and sorted it all out. The problem? The crypto world hasn’t gotten the memo. Bitcoin, that once mighty beast, is stuck in a $105K-$107K rut. How very underwhelming for a supposed post-war rally, right?

Meanwhile, Amazon, that giant of a titan, claims their UltraServers can scale to tens of millions of CPUs, enough to make even a bureaucrat’s head spin. “Our infrastructure,” they brag, “is practically a fortress of silicon, ready to support the whims of the AI kings and queens,” or some such nonsense. 🤖

With cleaner positioning (read: fewer clueless retail traders) and whales playing chess at $100k, BTC might retest support faster than a Victorian debutante avoids scandal. 🎯

And just like that, Bitcoin (BTC) has decided to take a little walk down the price ladder, dropping 2.8% in the last 24 hours. Nothing to worry about, right? 😒

It will not affect Bitcoin or its price trends, though it does highlight how reality has shifted dramatically from the original vision that Satoshi had for Bitcoin. It’s like a cake that’s now a crumb. 🍰