The mighty Coinbase, that digital colossus straddling the realms of crypto and capitalism, found its Achilles’ heel not in regulators or hackers, but in a humble UK fintech called BVNK. 🏰🇬🇧 Fortune reported that their $2B acquisition tango ended abruptly, like a Tinder date that realizes they’re both swindlers. “Mutual agreement,” they called it-a phrase that means “we both saw the red flags but kept dancing anyway.” 🚩🕺
This move, orchestrated by the US Treasury and the IRS, is anticipated to catapult the mainstream acceptance of proof-of-stake blockchains into the stratosphere of technological adoption. One might say it’s the fiscal equivalent of a magician pulling a rabbit out of a hat… except the rabbit is a ledger, and the hat is a regulatory framework. 🧠
Sustained inflows → gradual recovery and new highs. 🚀🤑
Behold, the institution of banking, that ancient titan, now stretching its tentacles into the digital abyss, where transactions zip about like overcaffeinated squirrels. 24/7, a phrase that evokes the eternal vigilance of a sleepless clockwork, yet somehow, the bankers manage to keep their eyes open. ⏳
Speaking to the Financial Times, Sethi spilled the beans: the UK’s regulatory overreach is so severe, users are locked out of 75% of crypto products. DeFi staking and lending? Gone. Like a magician’s trick, but without the magic. 🪄🚫
Bitcoin (BTC), the grand poobah of cryptocurrencies, took a nosedive to an intraday low of $102,461 on Wednesday, Nov. 12. That’s nearly 5% off its Tuesday high of over $107K. This dramatic plunge was a gracious retreat from the rally sparked by U.S. President Donald Trump’s “tariff dividend” remarks, which-surprise, surprise-failed to hold any lasting promise. At the time of writing, BTC had recovered slightly, but still showed a 2% loss over the past 24 hours. Truly inspiring stuff.
The source of this sudden decline in holiday spirit lies deep within the coin’s ecosystem, where whales and holders – those once-dedicated architects of Dogecoin’s meteoric rises – are now quietly slipping away, possibly in search of more promising digital waters. Even the most die-hard HODLers are losing their faith. The meme coin’s once-unbreakable Q4 streak seems to be slipping faster than a greased pig at a country fair.
This UNI token, it shivered and shook itself, climbing 28% in a single day. REACHING for a peak it hasn’t seen before – $8.42. All because some bright spark decided to tinker with the gears and actually start charging a fee. Imagine that!
JPMorgan Chase, a name synonymous with prudent banking and, let’s be honest, rather a lot of money, has seen fit to launch JPM Coin (JPMD). One presumes they felt left out of all the digital shenanigans. It’s for their institutional clients, naturally. One wouldn’t want the hoi polloi getting their hands on it.
