On August 8th, the Pump.fun team took to X (formerly the place where your uncle shares conspiracy theories) to promise a new era where token communities will thrive, frolic, and maybe-just maybe-not collapse by lunchtime.
’Tis said that over 120,000 of these Bitcoins were seized, er, acquired, between 112,000 and 114,000 crowns during this recent resurgence, a testament to the shrewdness of those who seek opportunity. Perhaps they smell a rat, perhaps not! 🐀
Right now, LINK prances at $18.89, having celebrated a 13% jump in the last 24 hours, stretching its weekly gains to a neat 12%, and a monthly climb of a whopping 36%. It’s been swinging between $15.48 and $19.16, riding waves of market activity that look like a toddler on a sugar rush. 🍼🥳
Dr. Miran, a man whose life has been a delicate balance between the realms of market speculation and policy-making, brings to the table a résumé that reads like a novel of ambition and intellect. His journey from the halls of the Treasury Department during the tumultuous days of the pandemic to the world of macro investing, and finally to the pen that penned bold proposals for the reform of the Federal Reserve, is nothing short of a saga. In his writings, he has not shied away from critiquing the Fed’s recent policies, labeling them as a theater of “groupthink” and “excessive monetary accommodation.” A 2024 report from the Manhattan Institute, penned by Miran and his colleagues, calls for a sweeping overhaul of the Fed’s governance structure, advocating for shorter Board terms, clearer presidential removal powers, enhanced Reserve Bank influence, and the subjugation of the Fed’s budget to the whims of Congress-all in the name of achieving “better monetary outcomes” and rekindling the flame of democratic accountability.
The document, known among the financial elite as a Form S-3, permits this corporate titan to offer a smorgasbord of securities over time, ranging from common and preferred stock to warrants and debt. Yet, the heart of the matter lies in the company’s bold ambition to raise up to $5 billion, with the singular purpose of amassing a treasury rich in Ethereum, the second-most valuable cryptocurrency after Bitcoin, which some might say is merely the first cousin of the digital gold standard.
Van de Poppe insists there’s plenty of room for altcoins to thrive and embarrass anyone who sold at a loss in April. A lot of these coins, he says, haven’t even made it back to the overcooked levels they achieved in early 2025, which probably coincided with my ill-advised decision to buy coffee futures. Instead of sounding an alarm, he sees this lag as the kind of bargain opportunity that makes traders giddy and their spouses nervous.
Paperwork-lovers, rejoice! Last Thursday, industry insiders gathered to dissect the great crypto legislation saga. It’s the sequel to the GENIUS Act, which was so genius only in its ability to confuse, and now the spotlight’s on the grand “market structure” bill. House Republicans recently waved through the Digital Asset Market Clarity (CLARITY) Act of 2025-just in case you thought regulation could be as straightforward as your grandma’s brownie recipe. Its mission? Craft a cozy regulatory blanket for crypto, boost startup growth, and somehow protect the poor investors from losing their lunch money.
Their Q3 revenue hit $198.6 million, a 91% jump from the previous year’s $104 million. Analysts were so confident they’d hit $195 million, they probably had a little dance party in their office. 🎉
This rise, my friends, was no accident. Nay, it was orchestrated by block trades so large they whispered sweet nothings to the market without alarming it. These transactions occurred over-the-counter, far from prying eyes, ensuring minimal disruption-a true masquerade ball for finance! 🎭
In what can only be described as the world’s least fun game show, India’s Minister of State for Finance recently confirmed the CBDT’s new hobby: reassessment notices! Surveys! Search-and-seizure operations! Who needs “Wheel of Fortune” when you have Section 1961 of the Income Tax Act? 🎰