Solana [SOL], much like a determined peasant forging his fate, has rebounded from the hallowed intersection of an ascending trend-line (blessed be its slope) and the Golden Fibonacci retracement (0.618-0.7, because numbers are mystical).
In a tête-à-tête with the Bankless podcast-released on a Thursday, no less, when one is simply too exhausted from the week’s antics to be truly shocked-Buterin cooed that the proliferation of public companies clutching Ether (ETH) like a debutante at her first ball is, indeed, a splendid affair. “There’s definitely valuable services being provided there,” he purred, as if sipping a martini at the Ritz. He added, with a wink, that these firms offer “more options,” particularly for those with “different financial circumstances.” How très chic! 💼✨
The godfather of retirement law, ERISA, gets a little tweak – now the rule book’s got more pages, because apparently, boring stocks and bonds are just too last century. The Labor Department is on the case, trying to figure out if Joe can finally put his Bitcoin gains into his retirement. I mean, why not? What’s the worst that could happen? 😂
Meanwhile, the big players are circle jerking around ETH, not just Bitcoin’s sidekick anymore.
XRP surged 9% on the news, proving the market’s enthusiasm for legal theatrics can rival even the most compelling reality TV. Source: XRP Liquid Index
Hold onto your crypto hats, because Coinbase has officially decided that Euler is worthy enough to join its prestigious platform. Yes, you heard that right – the platform that brought us everything from Bitcoin to the most questionable altcoins imaginable is now backing EUL. Welcome to the big leagues, Euler.
At 36, our hero now holds a guilty verdict for operating an unlicensed money-transmitting business. 🎩💸 But wait, there’s more! Prosecutors are still eyeing him like a troll under a bridge, ready to retry him on two additional felony counts: conspiracy to commit money laundering and conspiracy to violate US sanctions. Because, you know, why stop at one legal quagmire when you can have three? 🧐
A nefarious troupe of cyberbandits has set up at least 15,000 impersonated domains-lookalikes so convincing they could fool even the most seasoned dandy of digital lore-yet how deep this rabbit hole goes remains cloaked in ambiguity. Their latest concoction? SparkKitty, a feline-shaped malware brewed with the finesse of a Bulgakov novella, freshly invented in the last three months, prowling silently for wallets and secrets. 🐱💀
Those who willingly surrender their Gmail, Calendar, and Contacts to this digital concierge may find themselves relieved of the mundane tasks of booking tables, ordering gifts, or being reminded of the impending celebration of their mother-in-law’s existence. 🎉
This new spectacle, dubbed NUVA, was born from a partnership with ProvLabs-no, not some secret society, just the folks behind Provenance Blockchain. The joint declaration on Thursday must have been quite the soirée. 🎉
