Crash Bandicoot: The Best Quotes By Neo Cortex

Highlights

Cortex steals the show with his witty one-liners in
Crash Bandicoot
games, leaving a lasting impact on fans.
The evil scientist’s humor shines through in memorable quotes, poking fun at the franchise’s repetitive nature.
Cortex’s knack for comedy is evident in his fourth-wall-breaking moments and humorous interactions with other characters.

As a longtime enthusiast of the Crash Bandicoot series, I must say that these moments are some of my absolute favorites! The writing and humor in these games is truly exceptional.

Crash Bandicoot’s charm doesn’t account for the success of his video game series alone; it’s also due to his primary antagonist, the unforgettable Doctor Neo Cortex. This quirky, intelligent villain is behind almost every humorous instance in the franchise.

In every installment of the Crash Bandicoot series, the various authors have consistently made Dr. Neo Cortex the star character. Regardless of whether Clancy Brown or Lex Lang provides his voice, he consistently delivers clever and unforgettable lines that have stayed etched in the minds of fans for decades. Here are some of his best quotes to date.

10 “Now, When The Flag Lowers, Everyone, Hit Reverse!” (Tag Team Racing)

Trying To Be Mischievous In The Middle Of A Race

Crash Bandicoot: The Best Quotes By Neo Cortex

Despite being often labeled as one of the less successful kart racing games within the series, Crash Tag Team Racing boasts an unmistakable wit, and the quip that Cortex makes prior to each race serves as a testament to this humor.

Occasionally, Cortex attempts to deceive his opponents by suggesting they go the opposite direction. However, this strategy never succeeds due to gameplay considerations. Yet, it’s quite amusing that such a villainous and dishonest character like him even tries to pull off such a move in competition.

9 “You Can’t Replace Me. My Name’s On The Stationery!” (Crash Of The Titans)

Showing Uka Uka Who’s The Real Main Villain

In “Crash of the Titans,” there’s a lot of debate among fans about the game, but the humor in its cutscenes was certainly a hit! Following the first boss battle, Uka Uka reveals his scheme to replace Cortex with his own niece, Nina. Neo dismisses this idea by saying an iconic line and displaying some stationery to make his point.

The fact that Cortex equates his villainous acts with something as mundane as an office job is really humorous in and of itself, but the quote is made even funnier by N. Gin’s response: “That’s right, tough guy! Unless you want to buy all new stationery, you respect the master!”.

8 “Crash Bandicoot, My Old Nemesis. How The Heck Are You? Still Gathering Crystals? Old Habits Die Hard, Don’t They?” (Wrath Of Cortex)

He’s Always Willing To Make Fun Of The Franchise’s Repetitiveness

Back in the day, when I was deep into the world of Crash Bandicoot, The Wrath of Cortex was the fourth installment that left me and other fans a bit underwhelmed. We felt the formula was starting to feel worn out and monotonous. However, the creators threw us a curveball right from the start, with an unexpected line from Cortex that added a fresh twist to this familiar adventure.

As a gamer, I can’t help but chuckle at this quote when it comes to Crash. He manages to poke fun not only at the character himself, but also the game in a way that’s hard to ignore. The irony of him casually asking “How the heck are you?” with such a serene tone just adds to the humor. To top it off, Cortex then introduces Crunch Bandicoot, the main antagonist of this game, right after that line. It’s moments like these that make gaming experiences memorable.

7 “I Need To Stop Him From Making You, But I Can’t Kill Him Because That Would Kill Me, So I Guess That Means I Have To Kill You!” (It’s About Time)

Laying Out His Master Plan With One Confusing Sentence

In many instances, Neo Cortex frequently switches alliances with Crash and Coco, and this pattern continued even in the latest installment of the series, Crash Bandicoot 4: A Matter of Time. After double-crossing them yet again, Cortex goes back to the past with the intention of eliminating Crash from history altogether.

It wasn’t possible for him to eliminate his own past self to avoid Crash’s birth, as he would vanish too. Instead, it made sense for him to simply overcome his arch-nemesis in the past in a regular manner. The irony of such a complex plan leading to such a straightforward solution was amusing, and Cortex’s humorous explanation just before the fight added to its memorability.

6 “I’m An Evil Scientist, What Did You Expect? This Isn’t A Game.” (Twinsanity)

One Of The Biggest Fourth Wall Breaks In The Series

As a long-time gamer who grew up with the Crash Bandicoot series, I must admit that “Crash: Twinsanity” is one of my all-time favorite games due to its unique blend of humor and gameplay. Neo Cortex, the antagonist of the series, truly shines in this installment, delivering countless laugh-out-loud moments. One such instance that stands out for me is when Crash and Cortex first encounter Farmer Ernest.

Rather than offering assistance, Cortex point-blank shoots Ernest and declares his actions directly into the camera. Despite Crash compelling him to carry out the mission, Cortex’s cold-blooded act against an innocent non-player character underscores his unconventional nature as a video game protagonist, which is precisely what fans adore about him.

5 “Oh That? I Just Thought It Would Be Mean. Seriously, You’re Never Going To Be Able To Eat Cake Again. Imagine That… Life Without Cake!” (Mind Over Mutant)

Cortex Got His Devious Payback Against Uka-Uka

Just like its forerunner, “Crash: Mind Over Mutant” is another controversial game that many fans will concur has an exceptional knack for humor. This is evident in each and every one of its cutscenes, which boast a variety of animation styles, but the one with a style resembling South Park undeniably stands out as one of the most memorable.

In this game, Cortex seizes Uka-Uka and takes his power source (Mojo) to boost his latest device, the NV. However, it turns out that he was also making Uka-Uka eat cake unnecessarily. When Uka-Uka inquired about the reason, this was the doctor’s response. This quote is surprisingly funny, and it might be one of Cortex’s most irredeemably evil actions. Ruining someone’s love for cake forever is truly abominable.

4 “I’ve Ruined The Lives Of So Many; I Can’t Be Expected To Remember Them All…” (Twinsanity)

An Evil Scientist Always Makes A Lot Of Enemies

In the game “Crash: Twinsanity,” when the primary villains, the Evil Twins, present themselves, they remind Neo Cortex that he should recall them. Later on, Aku-Aku and Uka-Uka seek an explanation, to which Cortex responds with a clever line, one that is quite funny and accurate.

As a devoted admirer, I must confess my awe for the infamous Doctor Cortex – a globally recognized figure in the realm of science, albeit with an unsavory reputation. His ruthless actions have left a trail of adversaries in his wake, and it’s no surprise that he struggles to recall each victim whose life he’s irrevocably altered. Remarkably, even those two innocent pet parrots, who endured his experiments as a budding scientist, aren’t etched into his memory, despite their significant roles in his past.

3 “The Check Bounced? Are You Sure? Well, The Past Few Years Have Kind Of Been Slow. Wrath Of Cortex Didn’t Do As Well As We’d Hoped“ (Twinsanity)

The Failure Of The Previous Game Was Turned Into A Clever Punchline

In the unforgettable scene from Crash: Twinsanity, I, as the cunning Dr. Cortex, find myself haggling with some of my faithful penguin troops about their wages. To keep up morale, I assure them that I pay them on time, using good old-fashioned bank checks. But here’s the kicker – in a truly mind-blowing move, I break the fourth wall and acknowledge the less-than-stellar reception of the last game we worked on together. It’s moments like these that make me love this chaotic gaming world!

Previously mentioned, Wrath of Cortex didn’t achieve the same level of success as the classic PS1 trilogy, which marked a point where many fans started to step away from the franchise. This amusing statement is a subtle jab at that fact, and it suggests that Cortex’s economy might be influenced by the sales of the video games he appears in.

2 “Defeated Again! This Is Not Fair! Maybe I Should Retire To A Nice, Big Beach With A Nice, Big Drink. And A Woman With Nice, Big… Bags Of Ice For My Head…” (Warped)

Cortex Almost Makes An Unexpected Dirty Joke

In the third installment of the Crash Bandicoot series, Crash Bandicoot: Warped, Neo Cortex appeared to be on a roll. He formed an alliance with Uka-Uka, gained access to a cutting-edge time machine from N. Tropy, and had some formidable mutant minions serving as bosses, making it seem like his day was coming.

Despite being stopped by Crash Bandicoot, this is what Cortex says following their final confrontation. His defeated demeanor adds humor to his statement, and the surprising absence of an adult joke in a children’s game makes this moment one of his most iconic in the entire Crash Bandicoot series. It turns out he was going to need those bags of ice regardless.

1 “Crash, I’ve Been Like A Father To You! I Created You, Nursed You… Uh… Tried To Destroy You. So, What Do You Say? With My Mighty Intellect, And Your Vacuous Stupidity, We’ll Be Unbeatable!” (Twinsanity)

Encapsulates His Relationship With Crash To A Tee

Crash and Cortex’s bond is far from smooth; they have a deep-seated dislike for each other that is evident. However, when it comes to saving the day, they might momentarily put their differences aside, as seen in Crash: Twinsanity. One of the funniest yet truthful lines in the series comes from Cortex during an official alliance, which highlights their unique dynamic.

Funny thing, I must admit he’s spot on. You see, he is the one who birthed the character of Crash Bandicoot, making him somewhat of a paternal figure to our naive marsupial friend. However, in this very moment, his arrogance and rudeness towards Crash are evident – a trait that Crash seems to brush off effortlessly as they forge their new partnership. This dynamic between them encapsulates perfectly why these characters continue to captivate us, making them truly timeless.

2024-08-15 18:05