Crypto Bans Fail: Shadow Markets Reborn on Telegram - Who's Surprised? 🤔

Oh wow, look at that! The shady crypto marketplaces Huione and Xinbi—banned by Telegram back in May—have decided to hit “restart” like they’re rebooting an old horror movie. Now under new aliases, because obviously, who needs rules? 😂

TRM Labs, those nice folks who spy on blockchain stuff, say these platforms are creeping out of the digital woodwork! Despite all the fancy bans on May 13, Huione and Xinbi are back with a vengeance—just in slightly fancier outfits. Imagine thinking you shut down a crime ring, only for it to pop up next door in a different channel. Classic! 🤷‍♀️

Apparently, Huione’s still running a VIP club for its “trusted” vendors—because why not? They even launched a crypto exchange using their own stablecoin, USDH, because who doesn’t love a little risk with their money? The Cambodians obviously have a sense of humor. Or complete disregard for laws. Same thing, really.

Meanwhile, Xinbi, the banned twin, decided to throw a party “within days” of being shut down. Vendors from Huione’s shady shop also hang out there, sharing space like weird condo roommates. It’s like a crime-sharing economy—cozy, confusing, and definitely not legal. 🕵️‍♂️

These guys have been busy. Despite the US calling Huione a “money laundering concern” and even snarling at Funnull Tech—those Filipino cyber scammers—they’re still out there, talking, scheming, making a mess on Telegram. Because, apparently, banning it only makes them more determined to stay relevant. 🙄

The Rise of Guarantee Marketplaces: The Secret Society of Crypto Crime 🕶️

Let’s decode this circus: these marketplaces—Huione Guarantee and Xinbi Guarantee—aren’t your average dark web hideouts. Nope, they’re out in the open on Telegram, selling everything from fake IDs to surveillance gear, in bright neon. Imagine a flea market for hackers, but with less charm and more felony. 🤡

Think of it as a trust-fund scammer’s paradise. Vendors stash deposits, buyers pay in stablecoins like Tether—because who wants to actually use cash?—and everyone acts like they’re running a legit marketplace. Spoiler: they’re not. It’s a giant digital garage sale of chaos.

Elliptic, the blockchain snoopers, said these markets control access, run anti-fraud tricks, and manage deposits—even though, let’s be honest, it’s all a big scam playground. Basically, a cybercrime carny show with crypto tricks.

Cash, Cash, and More Cash — With a Side of Chaos 💸

Get this: Huione has facilitated—wait for it—over $81 billion in crypto transactions since 2021. That’s more than Hydra ever made before it was shut down. Xinbi’s no slouch either—$8.4 billion. Together, they make Silk Road look like a lemonade stand. Sweet, shady, and very profitable.

Telegram did try to put a leash on these beasts. Ban some channels, remove a few users, and hope no one notices. But of course, these guys are quick on their feet—changing names, dropping member counts, and hopping between channels like digital frogs. Xinbi even announced “Xinbi 2.0,” because nothing says “we’re sorry” like a sequel to your scam. 😉

More Than Just Fraud: The Nightmare Inventory 🖤

Oh, and it gets worse. These platforms weren’t just about scamming money—they sold electric shocks, restraints, and even marketed women as surrogates for some evil mastermind’s sci-fi crime compound. Yep, this is next-level disgusting. All served up with a card catalog of terror, just a click away.

Thanks to Telegram’s “open platform,” bad guys could buy everything: SIM cards, scripts, connections to launder money—basically, a virtual Amazon for bad deeds. Who knew? 🌪️

Will They Ever Truly Die? Or Just Morph into Something Else? 🔄

After arrests and bans, these markets just shrug and move somewhere else. Huione vendors migrated to Tudou Guarantee, and their user count spiked by almost a third. Classic cockroach behavior—no matter how many you stomp, they keep coming back. Rumor has it, Huione and Xinbi are eyeing other platforms like ChatMe and SafeW, because why not keep the party going? 🎉

So, to sum up: In the wild, lawless crypto underworld, banishment is just a brief intermission. Thanks, Telegram, for being the party’s main hall—until they shut it down, and then they just show up somewhere new with the same old tricks. Cheers to digital anarchy! 🍻

2025-06-05 17:05

Crypto Bans Fail: Shadow Markets Reborn on Telegram – Who’s Surprised? 🤔

The Rise of Guarantee Marketplaces: The Secret Society of Crypto Crime 🕶️

Cash, Cash, and More Cash — With a Side of Chaos 💸

More Than Just Fraud: The Nightmare Inventory 🖤

Will They Ever Truly Die? Or Just Morph into Something Else? 🔄

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