Crypto Carnage: Coins Tumble Like Greedy Goblins! 💸😱

On Thursday, the crypto economy zoomed around like a hyperactive squirrel with $3.38 trillion, while Bitcoin (BTC) slid down a slippery slope, nearly brushing the $100,000 line at 11:40 a.m. Eastern. It was a circus of chaos and confetti-some coins juggling triple-digit wins, others face-planting into banana peels of despair.

Bitcoin Dips, Most Others Drown

By 2 p.m. Eastern, BTC was down 2%, Ethereum (ETH) had belly-flopped 3.8%, and traders were watching smaller coins perform a tap-dancing act on the scoreboard.

The aptly named Soon (SOON) rocketed 63.75% like a caffeinated kangaroo, Internet Computer (ICP) spiked 33.53% (clearly it’s the most connected), and MINA added 25.80% to its tally. ALEO climbed 18.26%, Filecoin (FIL) rose 18.15%, CCD rallied 17.11%, XTZ gained 12.19%, BAT lifted 11.02%, and Zcash (ZEC) zipped up 9.17%-probably because it’s tired of being called “Zcash”.

At 2:19 p.m. Eastern time on Thursday, Nov. 6, 2025, bitcoin exchanged hands on Bitstamp for $101,818 per unit. (Probably just a typo-$101,818,000 would make more sense, right?)

The heavyweight cryptos didn’t share the same luck. XRP dropped 3.24% (poor thing, it’s been dropping hints for weeks), SOL fell 3.62%, and HYPE’s name did it no favors-it sank 7%. Meme token DOGE wagged its tail downward by 4.2% (maybe it’s tired of barking up the wrong tree). The biggest nosedive came from Plasma (XPL), cratering 18.46%-clearly it’s not plasma anymore, it’s just… sadness.

Telcoin (TEL) tumbled 14.99%, while Decred (DCR) shed 13.79% against the dollar. Virtual Protocol (VIRTUAL) took a 13.01% hit, landing at $1.23 (enough to buy a coffee… if you’re a billionaire). SPX6900 (SPX) wasn’t spared, sliding 11.43% to $0.6384. ZK tripped 10.90%, and PUMP deflated 10.21% to $0.003765. Zebec Network (ZBCN) shrank 8.75% to $0.003119, Toshi (TOSHI) dipped 8.69% to $0.0005175, Berachain (BERA) lost 8.54% to $1.40, and Aster (ASTER) closed the crimson parade with an 8.50% fall to $1.01-probably because it’s tired of being an asterisk.

Market analysts can’t agree on who’s wrecking the crypto party-some are side-eyeing President Trump’s tariffs and the revived trade war chatter, while others pin the blame on the Nikkei’s slide and whispers of an AI bubble about to pop. And then there’s the “silent IPO” theory, suggesting the OGs are quietly cashing out during bitcoin’s big-league debut. (Spoiler: They’re probably just buying yachts.)

While bitcoin and Ethereum are getting bruised, the altcoin ring-aside from a few stubborn privacy coins-looks like a total slaughterhouse. Tokens of every flavor are bleeding out as traders ditch anything that doesn’t come with brand-name clout. From meme coins gasping their last breath to once-hyped darlings in free fall, it’s pure crypto carnage-skip the popcorn, grab a helmet. 🚨💣

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2025-11-06 23:43