Picture this: Mr. Ki Young Ju, visionary (sometimes), head of CryptoQuant, awoke one murky morning to discover the Bitcoin bull cycle was apparently not ready for its swan song. No, it had instead taken a nap and, without so much as a polite cough, stormed past the $100k mark like a caffeinated Moskva subway train.
Previously, in a fit of Nostradamus-like enthusiasm (mistaken, as it turned out), Ju declared the bull cycle kaput back in March 2025. But the market, ever the theatrical diva, made a roaring comeback the moment President Trump inked a new trade deal with the U.K.—truly, some things are more unpredictable than the plot of The Master and Margarita.
With a public statement worthy of Pontius Pilate washing his hands, Ju said, “I apologize for the incorrect prediction. I will strive to provide higher-quality analyses in the future. Thank you.” One can almost hear the click of abacuses as Bitcoin analysts worldwide vow to do better, or at least, to sound confident while failing.
Delving into the present, Ju mused that Bitcoin’s affairs are no longer an exclusive soirée for the old whales and curious retail minnows. Now, a bustling crowd—ETFs, MicroStrategy, institutional wolves, and even bespectacled government clerks—have joined the jam. The dance floor is crowded, the punch bowl emptying faster than liquidity at a bear market.
“The old ways—profit-taking cycles? Toss them in the rubbish!” declares Ju, channeling his inner Voland. Once, whales selling at the top was the apocalypse; now, it’s just Tuesday. New liquidity, pouring in from institutional pipes, apparently holds the true magic. If you’re still tracking an ancient whale, it may be time to get a better hobby, like cat herding 🐋🐱.
At the latest tea-leaf reading, Bitcoin managed a heroic leap of more than 3% in just 24 hours, boasting a new coat of $102,773—a number not seen since February and now surely the source of many daydreams (and nightmares) among retail traders.
But don’t dust off your moon-boots just yet. Trading volume, ever contrary, has skittered downward by over 30%, mustering only $51 billion. Clearly, the market prefers a hangover nap before the next party.
“Zap, pow, up we go!” you might say. But Ju, always the philosopher, warns there’s more to it than bullish fireworks. The current era, he claims, is an opaque soup—neither bullish nor bearish, but a lovely shade of indecisive gray. The market, it seems, digests new liquidity as slowly as a government functionary processes tax forms.
Of course, our protagonist insists as always on the power of on-chain data—a tradition as time-honored as Moscow bureaucracy. To prove his point, he brandished a historical chart: every rise and fall, every triumph and tragedy, stretching from 2014 till now. One can almost smell the nostalgia and printer ink.
Tragically, not long after, Bitcoin found itself tumbling below $75,000, brought low by Trump’s edict of Liberation Day blanket tariffs. Truly, in the theater of crypto, the fat lady never stops singing. 🎭
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2025-05-09 14:46