Crypto Chaos! Coinbase Gets Schmacked! 😱

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Oy vey, it’s ZachXBT, that blockchain gumshoe, and he’s back, folks! He ain’t done kvetching about Coinbase and their security… or lack thereof! This ain’t no chopped liver, people. Seems these shemozzles at Coinbase have left the door wide open for scammers to waltz right in and steal your hard-earned shekels! 💸

ZachXBT, in a whatcha-call-it… a “thread” on X (it’s like Twitter but fancier), says that schlemiels have lost over $300 MILLION dollars due to these social engineering shenanigans. That’s a lot of pastrami on rye!

How the Crypto Capers Unfold

Alright, listen up! ZachXBT, that genius, uncovered that these crooks are making fake calls, pretending to be from Coinbase support. They’re even sending those darn phishing emails! It’s like that Ledger thing from December 2024 but bigger and smellier! 🤢 They’re using leaked info, probably from some goon who forgot to lock their cabinet, to sweet-talk users into giving up their digital gold.

And get this! They’ve cloned the Coinbase website and emails, so they look as kosher as your Bubbe’s matzo ball soup! They then get the dummies to “verify” their accounts by handing over their private keys. It’s like giving your house keys to a pack of wolves!

These chiselers then make the poor sap send their dough to a “special” Coinbase Wallet or some whitelisted address. Then, BAM! While pretending to be helpful, they swipe everything and vanish faster than a gefilte fish at a shul picnic. ZachXBT says these schnooks operate out of India and primarily target users in the U.S. What a bunch of gonifs!

And you won’t believe this! Between December 2024 and January 2025 alone, Coinbase users got robbed for at least $65 million! And that’s just the stuff they could track! Imagine all the shmegegges who didn’t file support tickets! It’s a regular free-for-all! 🤦

ZachXBT even claims that Coinbase is making it difficult to track the stolen funds by not reporting the theft addresses with those compliance-y tools. What a meshuggeneh mess!

Did Coinbase Drop the Ball?

This crypto detective says that Coinbase’s risk models are about as useful as a screen door on a submarine! They failed to stop these scams and let users lose $300 million! Can you believe it? He says these attacks succeeded because of, get this, the super-duper “aggressive” risk models! Talk about shooting yourself in the foot! 🦶

Now, users are suddenly having their accounts frozen, and it seems those con artists are using this to scam even more people! ZachXBT says this aggressive risk model has failed miserably to prevent the huge losses due to these crypto scams! It’s a regular calamity!

And there’s more! A Coinbase employee actually told users on X to STOP using VPNs so the exchange wouldn’t think they were shady! Meanwhile, ZachXBT says these phishing sites are blocking VPNs! So, what’s the deal?! 🤨

According to this investigation, it seems that Coinbase has a security problem bigger than my Uncle Morty’s appetite at a buffet! They haven’t figured it out yet, and that’s how these swindlers are making off with the goods. It’s a regular kibitz of a situation!

Coinbase CEO Promises a Big Fix… Maybe

Now, here comes the topper. Brian Armstrong, the big cheese at Coinbase, is saying they’re gonna revamp the whole shebang! It’s supposed to be more about the Solana transaction delays than this scam fiasco, but who knows? They finally realized their system needs an upgrade, like maybe five years ago! 🙄

Apparently, the trading platform had a meltdown when those TRUMP and MELANIA things came out in January. So, Brian Amstrong promised a fancy Solana infrastructure. Well, that’s something I guess… 🤷


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2025-02-04 05:02