Crypto Chaos Unleashed!

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Oh my, oh me! It’s been a wild ride in the land of cryptocurrency, folks! 🤯 After a record-breaking nine-hour procedural vote (yes, you read that right, NINE hours! 😴), House Republicans finally reached a deal to advance three crypto bills. But, of course, it wasn’t without a bit of drama and tantrum-throwing. 🤣

It all started when some Republican hardliners (we’ll call them the “crypto grumps”) refused to support the measures unless a central bank digital currency (CBDC) ban was guaranteed. They were like a bunch of kids in a candy store, stomping their feet and shouting, “We want a CBDC ban, and we want it now!” 🍭

But, after some behind-the-scenes wheeling and dealing, House Majority Leader Steve Scalise agreed to add a CBDC ban to the must-pass National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA) defense spending bill. And, just like that, the procedural vote passed 217 to 212. Magic! ✨

As Bryan Steil so eloquently put it, “After the longest House vote in history…Crypto Week continues on! 🎉”

— Bryan Steil (@RepBryanSteil) July 17, 2025

Now, let’s talk about the three crypto bills that are on the line. We’ve got the CLARITY Act, the GENIUS Act, and the Anti-CBDC Surveillance Act. Oh, and did I mention that President Trump wants the GENIUS Act passed before the weekend? 🕒️ Talk about a ticking clock! ⏰

But, of course, the crypto grumps are still grumbling about the GENIUS Act, saying it would create a “back door” for the Fed to issue a CBDC. They’re like a bunch of conspiracy theorists, always looking for a plot twist. 🕵️‍♀️

And, in a surprise move, Trump personally met with the holdouts at the White House to broker a new deal. House Speaker Mike Johnson participated by phone, because, you know, someone had to keep the crypto grumps in line. 📞

House Majority Whip Tom Emmer, a staunch crypto supporter, faced criticism for failing to secure votes. But, he’s not one to back down from a fight. He said, “Attaching our Anti-CBDC Surveillance State Act to the NDAA will ensure unelected bureaucrats are NEVER allowed to trade Americans’ financial privacy for a CCP-style surveillance tool.” 💪

And, finally, Josh Vlasto, spokesperson for Fairshake, summed it all up nicely, saying, “Congress needs to stop playing politics with crypto and finally pass responsible regulation.” 🙌

The House will vote separately on the GENIUS and CLARITY bills and rescissions on Thursday. So, stay tuned, folks! It’s going to be a wild ride. 🎢

As Representative Bill Huizenga so wisely put it, “The plan has always been to have separate votes on GENIUS and CLARITY. I am glad cooler heads prevailed and we can now move forward.” 🙏

And, let’s not forget, if they don’t get their act together, we might just see another FTX-style industry collapse. 😱 So, here’s hoping they can get it together and pass some responsible regulation. Fingers crossed! 🤞

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2025-07-17 19:40