Crypto Companies Battle DOJ’s “Code Confusion” 🌪️💰

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In a missive most quixotic, no less than thirty-four knights of the crypto realm have taken up quill against the mighty Department of Justice. With nary a mention of Tornado Cash or the Samourai knights, these valiant signatories seek to unravel the tangled web of legal code that has ensnared developers in the “unlicensed money transmitting business” snare—mere forgers of open-source software!

This epistle, while silent on the names of those prosecuted for their Bitcoin mixing crafts, is a clarion call against the precedent set by the DOJ’s interpretation. A victory for crypto, yet not the final word, for what law may ensnare Tornado Cash today may tomorrow trap other digital alchemists in its net.

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Contents of the Quixotic Missive

The signatories, with a flourish of their pens, have implored the powers that be to revisit the code interpretation. They cry that the DOJ’s stance “befuddles the mind and sows the seeds of legal peril, threatening the very foundation of digital asset development in the land of the free!” They warn, “Lo, every blockchain artisan may find themselves a criminal in the eyes of the law!”

They argue, with a sly wink, that to engage in a “money transmitting business,” one must handle the gold of others—a feat quite impossible for those who craft noncustodial web3 realms. Decentralized, open-source, and devoid of commerce, these platforms are as far from “business” as a knight’s steed is from a merchant’s cart. Thus, the developers stand accused of a crime most curious!

“The DOJ, in its wisdom, has chosen to chase shadows, ignoring guidance and precedent to indict our software knights. Thus, we face an absurdity: two government bodies, each with a differing tale of ‘money transmission’—a comedy of errors for our law-abiding artisans and dreamers.”

If left unresolved, this conundrum may see our brightest minds flee these shores, their innovations squandered, as they seek safer harbors abroad.

The Tale of Tornado Cash

The mightiest of crypto companies have set their seals upon this letter. Coinbase, Kraken, Ledger, Exodus, Uniswap Labs, and more—all wish for a land where code weavers are not tried for the misdeeds of those who misuse their freely given tools.

The letter speaks of a time when the DOJ, with a stroke of misinterpretation, indicted the creators of Tornado Cash. Roman Storm and Roman Semenov found themselves charged with laundering, their fates hanging by the thread of legal interpretation.

[NEWSFLASH] A league of +30 crypto champions unites with @fund_defi, beseeching Congress for clarity amidst the DOJ’s ‘indictment regulation’ saga. Liberty for @rstormsf and his kind!

Samourai wallet, too, has felt the heavy hand of misjudgment, with its creators facing grave accusations. The U.S., in its wisdom, has seen fit to block their service.

The “Department of Justice” strikes again, criminalizing privacy’s guardians. When will they learn that privacy is not a crime, but a right?

Voices of reason, like the illustrious Snowden, decry the persecution of innovators while true villains roam free. CryptoQuant’s Ki Young Ju muses that blaming the creators is akin to blaming the knife for the stabber’s misdeed.

Once blocked, Tornado Cash has been set free, yet concerns linger. The Treasury, while lifting sanctions, warns of North Korean hackers’ misuse—a tale of $7 billion in laundered coin. Security experts caution that Tornado Cash’s front end remains compromised, a digital trap for the unwary.

Think twice before you whirl in the Tornado’s embrace, for its frontend is a treacherous place!

Thus, the crypto saga continues, with developers navigating the treacherous waters of law and innovation.

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2025-03-28 14:06