Crypto Crash! 📉 Whales Jump Ship! 🐳

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Oh, darling, the market. Such a fickle beast, don’t you think? Bitcoin, after a positively thrilling little jaunt northwards – briefly flirting with the vulgarity of $117,000, naturally – has decided to have a bit of a lie-down. It’s currently resting around $112,755. Quite a comedown, don’t you agree? A mere 2% drop, but enough to give one a frightful headache.

Apparently, some frightfully large investors – we call them ‘whales,’ how utterly charming – have decided their portfolios require a slight…adjustment. They’ve been offloading Bitcoin with a distinct lack of enthusiasm, triggering a rather precipitous cascade of panic. Honestly, the drama! 🎭 Trading volume, naturally, has gone absolutely berserk – up 41% to a frankly alarming $73.46 billion. One shudders to think.

It all started, you see, after that Mr. Powell at the Federal Reserve hinted at possible rate cuts. A brief flutter of optimism, promptly dashed against the rocks of, well, more selling. A recalibration, my dear! A very dreary recalibration. As if we needed another one.

Whales, Ethereum & the Pursuit of Happiness (or Profit)

It seems these whales – over 24,000 Bitcoin worth of them, mind you! – found Ethereum far more…stimulating. Two billion dollars, casually diverted! One almost feels sorry for Bitcoin, being so thoroughly abandoned. 🥺 Jacob King, a gentleman who seems to know about these things, assures us it caused a “cascade effect.” Really, the language these people use.

Apparently, someone with 100,784 Bitcoin decided a little diversification was in order and traded a portion into 62,914 Ethereum. The institutional crowd seems to agree. Ethereum is positively booming at $4,712 (though briefly touching a scandalous $4,946). Bitcoin’s dominance? Well, it’s dwindling. Down to a paltry 57.94%. Heaven forfend! Altcoins, apparently, are the new black. 💅

Liquidations and a Safety Net (if One Exists)

And the fallout? Oh, the fallout! $667.49 million in liquidations, mostly from those dreadfully optimistic “long” positions. And the miners are joining in the fun, desperately shedding $237 million in Bitcoin. One begins to suspect a conspiracy. 🤨

On-Chain Support Levels

Using the UTXO Realized Price Distribution (URPD), the nearest support zone lies between $104k-$108k, where over 1.15M BTC was accumulated over the past year. This dense supply region may serve as a strong support if the market continues to correct.…

– glassnode (@glassnode) August 22, 2025

Apparently, there’s a safety net somewhere around $104,000 to $108,000, crammed with approximately 1.15 million Bitcoin. One hopes it holds, for all our sakes. Although, frankly, one wouldn’t bet the family jewels on it. Do be careful, darlings. And perhaps have a stiff drink. 🍸

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2025-08-25 10:30