Crypto Guru Predicts Bitcoin’s Meteoric Rise with Astrology! 🪐💸

by

Ah, behold! Crypto analyst Crypto Waterman, whose knowledge of Bitcoin’s erratic dance comes not from mundane charts, but from the mystical art of Chinese astrology, has deigned to enlighten us. Brace yourselves, dear readers, for a prophecy of fortune-and folly-when Bitcoin and its comrades in the altcoin world are set to soar! 🚀💰

When Will Bitcoin’s Grandeur Return? 🎩✨

In a post on the enchanted scroll of X, Crypto Waterman proclaimed that the great Bitcoin will rise from the ashes of its recent plunge. Mark your calendars-December 5th! After slumping to a mere $81,000 (a pittance, if you ask me), the crypto king will rise from the depths, like a phoenix… well, with a bit of help from Mercury retrograde, ending on November 29th. Ah, how quaint! 📅🔮

But the journey is not without its bumps, no-between November 29th and December 5th, expect volatile swings, more erratic than the moods of a Shakespearean character! Such is the market, my friends, reminiscent of mid-July 2021. After this turmoil, we shall be blessed with a glorious two-week rally from December 5th to 18th. Oh, and how sweet it will be as Bitcoin climbs to a range between $100,000 and $110,000. 🏰💸

But wait! There’s more! After this rally, a dip from December 18th to January 6th will arrive. Think of it as a well-timed sigh in a grand drama, pushing BTC down to a humble $90,000 to $100,000. But fear not, for after this “tragic” interlude, Bitcoin shall rise again-from December 6th to mid-February, no less-ascending to a dazzling new all-time high (ATH) of $140,000 to $145,000! Is it not glorious to witness the crypto world’s poetic rise and fall? 🎭📉📈

But hold your applause, for Crypto Waterman, ever the sage, assures us that this is not merely a prediction-it is the grand finale of the bull market cycle! And lo! Altcoins shall also feel the pull of the rising tide, with a final altseason expected between January and February. However, as the wise astrologer prepares for his own exit, he promises to abandon most of his holdings in mid-February, as the year of the horse enters the stage. 🐎📉

‘Too Soon to Predict the Rise of the King!’ 👑

Alas, not all share the same exuberant vision. Enter Crypto analyst Colin, who, though no less wise, has a slightly more cautious view. It is, in his opinion, far too early to predict that Bitcoin will reach new heights and break its previous records. This follows the recent, inevitable rebound from Bitcoin’s dreadful lows of $81,000-something that, according to Colin, was more of a “necessary bounce” than any indication of grand future glory. 🧐

Colin’s stance is clear: while a bounce might bring Bitcoin up to $100,000, he remains skeptical about any ATH breakthroughs. He reminds us that Bitcoin must first reclaim significant levels well beyond its current status, lest it remain merely a shadow of its former, majestic self. 🏰

At the time of writing, Bitcoin trades around $87,500-up a modest 2% over the last 24 hours. A rather humble performance for such a dramatic tale, wouldn’t you say? 📊📉

Read More

2025-11-24 23:29