In the distracted snows of Capitol Hill, the word arrived—a whisper pulled through the gray corridors from Representative McHenry’s lips: “Gensler wasn’t the scowling iron wall of ‘No’ the mob has taken him for!”
In private—over poorly reheated coffee, no doubt—Gensler’s eyes had sparkled with something dangerously close to crypto curiosity. McHenry, plucking at the thread of memory, recalled the ex-SEC titan uttering phrases less like regulation, more like revelation, and less like “I’ll sue you” and more like “airdrop, please!” MIT, that winter palace of algorithms and ambition, churned out Gensler as a crypto leaper, not merely a ledger-watcher.
Yet, on the public stage, Gensler became the dragon of compliance; breathing fire on Coinbase, Binance, Kraken—his list of foes read like an alt-coin fever dream. “Register with the SEC!” he’d thunder, as if every blockchain developer was a Roman candle of fraud poised to ignite. 😂📉
In the hush before the next subpoena, McHenry asked himself—and the blinking eyes of all of Crypto Twitter—“Was he really so anti-crypto? Or just allergic to consistency?” Every private nod, every after-hours concession, vanished by sunrise—like snow melting from the roof of the regulator’s office.
Meanwhile, the crypto industry fumed, sulked, and subtweeted. Coinbase’s Brian Armstrong swore to shun all law firms with SEC DNA—MIT grads were next on the hit list unless the campus exiled Gensler, now returned to teach the mysteries of ‘fintech’ and, presumably, how to hold both opinions at once without spilling your coffee. 🤷♂️
The rules, as always, remained clear as a Siberian dawn—crypto companies freezing in the legal fog, longing for sunlight, or at least a regulator with the same face in private as in public. Someone, perhaps, who remembers not to play chess with both sides at once.
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2025-05-14 17:03