Picture the scene: Monday morning, the crypto-world still nursing weekend bruises and wondering who left the stablecoin faucet running, when in bounces ENA as though it had downed six espressos and a copy of How to Win Pals and Bamboozle Bears. The token, bless its reckless heart, has pirouetted 14% skyward faster than you can say “rug-pull rumba”, leaving the assembled market-watchers blinking like owls at a laser-show. Market-cap? A neat-o $3.9 B. If wallets could purr, they’d be doing it now.
USDe Swells to Third Place Like a Satisfied Pouter-Pigeon
Meanwhile, ENA’s stable sibling USDe has been puffing itself up like Gussie Fink-Nottle’s newts on feeding day. The creature is now the third-largest stablecoin on the block, elbowing poor Sky Dollar into the shrubbery with a polite “Excuse me, old sport, but size does matter.” DeFiLlama chirps that supply has swollen 75% in thirty days—roughly the same rate at which Aunt Dahlia’s waistline expands at Christmas—reaching $9.3 B.
The Ethena protocol itself now lounges in sixth spot by TVL at $9.47 B, proving that dangling juicy yields in front of DeFi degens is akin to waving seed-cake under the noses of the Drones Club on guest night.
Ethena’s USDe strutting its bronze-medal stuff. Source: DeFiLlama
As if that weren’t enough, Ethena has announced plans to birth a USD-compliant stablecoin in cahoots with Anchorage Digital—yes, the outfit so legit it has actual federal charters, unlike your cousin’s homemade NFT of a cartoon sandwich.
Fancy Joining the Billionaire’s Picnic? Try Bitcoin Hyper—Only Slightly Less Addicting Than Anatole’s Soufflé
For readers who fear missing the yacht, there remains the presale of HYPER, a Layer-2 scheme promising to turbo-charge Bitcoin quicker than Jeeves can straighten a crooked tie. Thirty-three hours remain before the price hops up like Madeline Bassett discovering another engagement ring, so hustle, dear chums!
Presale crib-sheet:
- Current ticket price: a laughably petite $0.012525
- Loot collected thus far: $6.8 million (give or take a champagne flute)
- Ticker: HYPER—easy to remember, easier to misplace in a bull market
One may toss in ETH, BNB, USDT, or that battered credit card you swore off after the last NFT craze. Best Wallet is the valet recommended for storing said tokens; anything less might leave you wrestling with gas fees like Uncle Tom cobbling verses for Milady’s Boudoir.
In short: the crypto circus is open, popcorn optional, clown shoes encouraged. 😉
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2025-08-04 15:15