Ah, Ethereum. That most capricious of digital dreams. It seems a certain… BitMine Immersion, a name invoking images of submersed servers and questionable life choices, has seen fit to gather unto itself a rather substantial pile – 319,000 ETH, to be precise. In merely a week! A billion dollars vanished into the digital ether. One begins to suspect a motive beyond mere investment. Perhaps they’re building a fortress? 🏰 Or preparing for a very elaborate digital potlatch?
A Crunch? Really?
Paul Barron, a fellow who reports these things on what used to be called Twitter, now X, informs us this represents 0.26% of all existing Ethereum. A sliver, one might say, were it not for his subsequent calculations. He postulates – with the fervency of a man who enjoys extrapolation – that at this rate, BitMine might require another 4.1 million ETH before the year is out. 🗓️ Which, given the paltry 11 million presently available on exchanges, suggests a potential…shall we say… *inconvenience*. A shortage. A scramble! It’s all terribly dramatic, isn’t it?
If, heaven forfend, a few more institutions decide to imitate this BitMine’s peculiar habit, we’re apparently looking at a 2021-style panic, only… worse. Barron speaks of “mathematical inevitability” and $15,000 ETH by December. One wonders if mathematics has become a subject of faith alongside the prophecies. 🧐
Staking and the Abyss
And the stakers! Always the stakers. Apparently, the validator exit queue-where one goes to extricate oneself from this whole affair-peaked briefly, suggesting a momentary flicker of doubt. A collective shudder of fear, perhaps. But fear, naturally, is for the weak. Now, the queue to *enter* is longer. People are rushing to lock up their ETH, convinced they’re about to miss the boat. It’s quite a spectacle, really. Like lemmings, but with blockchain. 🐑
Over a million validators, staking 35.6 million ETH – nearly a third of the total supply! A steady 2.89% APR. It all unfolds with the inevitability of a slightly damp winter. Bull Theory (a fitting name, wouldn’t you agree?) assures us this is precisely how a supply squeeze *should* unfold: slowly, then all at once, like a forgotten file on a corrupted hard drive. 💾
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2025-09-11 04:18