What’s cookin’:
- Ethena decided it’d had about enough bratwurst and bureaucracy for one lifetime—bye, Germany! They’ll shuffle existing users over to their fancier-sounding British Virgin Islands operation, where the only regulator is a strong island breeze.
- Just three weeks ago, Germany’s BaFin pointed a finger, wagged it sternly, and hollered about “serious deficiencies” in Ethena’s USDe token. ‘Serious deficiencies’—now that’s regulator for ‘this dog don’t hunt.’
- ENA’s price? Down by 2.88% in the last day. That’s more than a bad haircut, less than an unexpected divorce.
If there’s a lesson to be learned here, it’s don’t mess with a German with a clipboard. Decentralized finance whiz-kids Ethena agreed to hightail it out of Germany, hot on the heels of BaFin sniffing “serious deficiencies” in their synthetic dollar doodad. Turns out, offering weird crypto coins in Germany without permission gets you a one-way ticket out faster than you can say “regulatory audit.” 🚂
Ethena delicately announced (on Twitter, naturally—the modern soapbox) that they’ve agreed to pack up their bindle, stop chasing MiCAR authorization, and shut down all German business. No word on if they left a forwarding address, but they do plan to do the old switcheroo: Every customer gets shuffled over to Ethena BVI, conveniently located somewhere between sun, sand, and plausible deniability.
For anyone keeping score: Ethena claims $4.9 billion locked in their protocol (unclear if that’s before or after BaFin’s visit with the white gloves). Their USDe token, a “synthetic dollar” stitched together with bits of Bitcoin, Ether, and hope, just got a spanking in Germany. Meanwhile, ENA token’s price is taking a nap (down 2.88%), which looks positively sprightly next to my 401k after a summer at the horse track.
All in all, crypto marches on, German regulators wave the rulebook, and Ethena sails off to the islands, lost in the mists of DeFi legend—or perhaps just hiding out till the heat dies down. 🌴💨
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2025-04-15 17:34