Fed Chairman Clucks & Bitcoin Ducks: Who’s Kicking Whom in the Wallet?

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So here’s the scoop, folks: Jerome Powell, the Federal Reserve’s head honcho, stepped up to the mic on Wednesday and basically said, “Tariffs are HUGE—bigger than grandma’s meatball!” And with big tariffs come big economic bloopers like stagflation—yeah, that delightful combo of high inflation and sluggish growth. Naturally, Bitcoin (our shiny crypto hero) took a nosedive faster than a custard pie at a slapstick festival. 🍰💥

When Hawkish Jer-Bird Puts the Brakes on Bitcoin’s Rollercoaster 🎢

At the Economic Club of Chicago—fancy place, not a hot dog stand—Powell made it clear he’s tougher to sway than a street performer who won’t drop the hat for Trump’s tweets. He warned that these high tariffs might crank up inflation like a bad band’s volume knob, putting the Fed’s double duty (fight inflation AND promote growth) in a pickle jar full of pickles.

In other words: don’t hold your breath for a rate cut in May. Heck, even June’s prospects look about as promising as a screen door on a submarine. 🚪🌊

Just when Bitcoin bulls thought the coast was clear to charge ahead, ol’ Jerome yelled “halt!” and Bitcoin’s price hit the brakes harder than a clown car at a red light.

$BTC Stomps On Despite the Circus Chaos 🤡💪

Yet, in spite of Wednesday’s drama and the U.S. stock market staging its own slapstick routine—where the S&P 500 dropped 2.24% and the Nasdaq just pooped 3%—Bitcoin’s price is shimmying sideways like a backup dancer just shy of center stage.

We’re talking resistance near $84,700, with support acts hanging around $84,000 and $82,500. The bulls are eyeing the big prize: the $88,600 high note. If Bitcoin hits that, it might just get a standing ovation—and possibly a contract for a long-running show.

Will $BTC Rally or Just Do the Hokey Pokey? 🕺💃

Looking at the weekly chart, Bitcoin seems ready to “turn itself around” if it can muster some mojo. The million-dollar question: Can Bitcoin strut its stuff through tariff wars and the Fed’s lukewarm rate cut dance?

Considering global liquidity is growing like a well-watered Chia Pet, and printing money might happen sooner than you can say “monetary madness,” the answer could be a cautious, “Yes, but watch your wallet!”

Those fancy indicators flashing bullish vibes at the chart’s bottom suggest Bitcoin might have some tricks up its sleeve yet. So, grab your popcorn—this week could be a real comedy of errors or a triumphant encore.

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2025-04-17 16:12