Google’s Blockchain: A Real Head-Scratcher 🤔

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Google, it seems, has decided to enter the world of blockchains. And, predictably, the reception is… lukewarm. This new Layer1 platform, grandly dubbed GCUL (as if another acronym is what the world needs), is intended to move money across borders and settle assets, a noble goal, truly. A distributed ledger, they call it. One wonders if they’ve actually *read* about distributed ledgers. ☕

  • Apparently, the collective consciousness on X (formerly known as that bird app) finds the upcoming L1 rather… restrictive. Permissioned? Private? The outrage!
  • Google assures us it will become more “open” eventually. Like a reluctant miser opening his purse.

Their blog post describes their blockchain as “private and permissioned.” A curious choice of words, wouldn’t you say? It’s quite a departure from the whole “decentralized utopia” vibe the crypto community cherishes. One suspects they’ve missed a memo, or perhaps several. It’s all very…efficient, they assure us. Efficiency is good, of course, but at what cost? 🧐

“GCUL offers significant benefits to both clients and financial institutions. Clients experience near-instant transactions, especially for cross-border payments, along with low fees, 24/7 availability, and payment automation,” they write. One almost forgets to ask *who* controls those benefits, and *whose* automation it truly is.

The promise of eventual openness does little to quell the discontent. As one wit on X observed, it’s rather inconvenient to launch a “blockchain” that actively disregards the core tenets of… well, blockchain. The irony, it seems, is lost on them. 🤷‍♀️

“It’s a permissioned chain, ran by an American corporation with close ties to the government. I don’t think these people understand what “credibly neutral” means in the context of blockchains,” lamented a trader. A valid point. Credibly neutral. Such a quaint idea.

“Fully centralized? Then they shouldn’t even call it blockchain,” offered another sage. A rather blunt assessment, but one can’t entirely disagree.

The predictable chorus of commentary has drawn in the usual suspects – industry figures offering their typically nuanced opinions. Eli Ben-Sasson of StarkWare even declared that corporations attempting Layer1s is “ngmi” (not gonna make it). Apparently, history repeats itself, reminding him of the ill-fated Diem project.

A Few Details, for Those Who Are Still Curious

Rich Widmann, Google Cloud’s Head of Web3 strategy, has been offering tantalizing glimpses into this private testing phase. Python-based smart contracts, you say? How… exciting. He compares it to Stripe and Circle, which, depending on your temperament, may be a compliment or a scathing indictment. 🙄

They claim to be “credibly neutral,” enabling any financial institution to build upon it. One wonders if the institutions will also be “credibly neutral.” Perhaps wishful thinking.

Eventually, they intend to open it to the Google user base and a legion of “100s of institutional partners.” A grand vision. One can almost picture the queues.

The stated aim is to simplify commercial bank account management and cross-border transactions, conveniently eliminating the need for additional infrastructure. It will integrate multiple currencies and assets, naturally. Simplicity. It’s always about simplicity, isn’t it? Until it isn’t.

And, crucially, transaction fees will be stable and invoiced monthly. How refreshing! They even take a swipe at other crypto protocols with their “volatile upfront crypto gas fees.” A bit rich, coming from a corporation that thrives on hidden charges, one might suggest.

As for a launch date… well, that remains shrouded in mystery. One suspects they’re waiting for the dust to settle. Or perhaps for the crypto community to forget about it entirely. Time will tell. ⏳

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2025-08-27 11:00