Great Stablecoin Circus: Banks vs. Crypto in D.C. Spectacle!

Lo and behold! The hallowed halls of the White House shall once again tremble with the clatter of bureaucratic teacups at 9 a.m. ET on Friday, as the third “stablecoin yields” summit convenes-a veritable feast of financial theater. Banks, those venerable guardians of dusty vaults, will once more decry yield-bearing stablecoins as vampiric leeches siphoning deposits into the crypt, while crypto firms, those modern-day alchemists, will sing hosannas to innovation and the sacred right to turn a profit faster than a Cossack fleeing a tax collector. The stalled CLARITY Act, that ever-elusive ghost haunting Capitol Hill, looms large, its passage now priced into Polymarket like a speculative fever dream. Optimists, madmen or otherwise, give it a 70% chance by 2026-though one suspects the Act’s only true clarity lies in its ability to generate meetings ad infinitum. Attendees are advised to bring snacks; history suggests resolutions will be scarcer than honesty in a politicians’ poker game.

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2026-02-19 11:52