How North Korean Cyber Boffins Tried to Pimp Crypto with Fake Job Offers (Spoiler: Malware!)

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In a feat of skullduggery that would make the Ankh-Morpork Guild of Thieves proud, North Korean cyber operatives went full chameleon: setting up not one, but TWO downright fake U.S. businesses to bypass Treasury sanctions and sneak malware onto the computers of hapless cryptocurrency developers. 🎭💻

Hackers: Masters of the Job Interview Shenanigan 🎩🕵️‍♂️

Somewhere in the dusty offices of cyber miscreants, two imaginary companies—Blocknovas LLC and Softglide LLC—sprang up like mushrooms after a rainy day in New Mexico and New York. These weren’t your typical start-ups; they were built on felonious fabrications of identity and rent-free addresses. The purpose? Infect crypto coders with a good old-fashioned dose of malware, because who doesn’t love a hostile takeover of their digital piggy bank?

Reuters, with a wink and a nudge, tipped us off via a report quoting Silent Push, a cybersecurity outfit with a name that sounds like something between a ninja and a toothpaste brand. They mentioned a mysterious third wheel: Angeloper Agency—registered or not, probably as real as a troll under the bridge.

“Rare? Oh yes. North Korean hackers setting up legit legal-looking companies in the U.S.? It’s like trolls turning up at a knitting circle,” said Kasey Best, Silent Push’s director of threat intelligence, who presumably drinks a lot of strong tea.

Following the breadcrumbs, Silent Push managed to connect these capers to the Lazarus Group, North Korea’s cyber equivalent of the elite Assassins Guild—only with less charming robes and more malware. The FBI, ever the mysterious wizards behind the curtain, dropped a public “block” notice on Blocknovas’ digital doorstep, accusing them of using the site to list fake jobs and pass out malware like it was candy on Halloween.

The same FBI wizards called North Korea’s cyber shenanigans “one of the most advanced persistent threats” facing the U.S., which, in spy-speak, means “these folks don’t give up, even when you reboot the system.” Meanwhile, the North Korean mission to the UN is acting as chatty as a walled-up library—no comment.

Job seekers beware: these faux interview invitations don’t just want to chat—they’re Trojan horses sneaking in malware that pilfers crypto wallets faster than a street urchin in a crowded marketplace. 🔓💰

North Korea’s crypto capers are reportedly a major part of their “sinister fund-raising” to keep the regime’s nuclear missiles humming—because what better way to fund weaponry than by hacking digital greed?

Previously, the regime sent thousands of IT workers abroad (because you have to pay your cyber-hackers somehow), but having fake businesses inside the U.S.? That’s like inviting the wolves into Mrs. Cake’s bakery for tea and scones. Trouble’s definitely brewing.

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2025-04-26 00:57