Stop the crypto presses! 🚨 The internet rumor elves are working overtime, and now the hottest gossip on X (are we still pretending that’s not just Twitter in a mustache?) is that NVIDIA (yep, that trillion-dollar chip czar) might be stuffing some Bitcoin into its piggy bank for “stability.” As if those quarterly earnings weren’t spicy enough already.
But wait, don’t cash in your laser-eyed Pez dispensers just yet! As of right now, NVIDIA’s official stance is: crickets. Their latest SEC filings show as much Bitcoin as my grandmother’s sock drawer — a solid zero. (And trust me, she’s much more into dogecoin.)
Meanwhile, MicroStrategy and Tesla are over here flexing their “we did it first” energy, both with bitcoin-laden balance sheets. Flashback: Since 2020, MicroStrategy’s stock has gone bananas, up over 3,142% (which is just a normal Tuesday in crypto-land). NVIDIA’s stock hasn’t exactly been eating ramen either, but a mere 916% return? Ugh, so quaint.
Now, stir in a little existential dread, courtesy of Yat Siu at TOKEN2049, asking if companies are true Bitcoin believers or just trend-hopping like your uncle buying Beanie Babies in 1998 (spoiler: he still has them).
Current vibe check: It’s May 1, 2025. Bitcoin lounges at a cool $96,409, and NVIDIA fans are toasting a 4% bump to $113.28 on NasdaqGS—because nothing says “bull market” like a meme and a rumor.
So, should we expect NVIDIA to announce a Bitcoin wedding any second now? Probably not. But if it does happen, you heard it here third…after Crypto Beastreal and that friend of yours who keeps sending you telegram links. 🚀🤷♀️
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2025-05-01 18:51