Is TikTok Secretly Hoarding Trump Memecoins? The Internet Loses Its Mind

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If you ever thought global politics needed a dash more absurdity, sit tight: we’ve hit the mother lode. The tale begins, as all seismic world events do, on X (née Twitter) where TikTok’s official Policy account found itself swatting away rather creative allegations. According to Congressman Brad Sherman, a Californian who presumably still balances his checkbook with a slide rule, TikTok’s “Chinese owners” were snapping up $300 million worth of Trump’s official memecoin—because, why not?

Sherman trumpeted (pun inevitable) that “Chinese owners of TikTok have announced they are buying ‘Trump Coins’ for $300 million.” How does he know? Well, he saw it somewhere, possibly on the same internet that swears you can lose belly fat in five days by eating only pickles.

TikTok, presumably both bemused and a little insulted, replied: “Congressman, claiming that the owners of TikTok are buying ‘Trump Coins’ is patently false and doesn’t even accurately reflect a letter you signed last month.” You know it’s serious when someone brings up old paperwork. 😳

Link to TikTok-connected Firm Sparks Confusion (And Not a Little Eye-rolling)

The plot thickened (like a budget gravy) when Sherman entered full-tilt conspiracy mode, coincidentally as Trump signed yet another executive order extending TikTok’s not-quite-expiry date in the U.S. This is the third such delay—truly, a ban in installments. TikTok is basically the Rasputin of social media platforms—seemingly impossible to do in.

Sherman, clinging to the U.S. legal code and his righteous indignation, pointed out there’s only “one” extension allowed, and Trump’s refusal to swing the ban-hammer is, apparently, an affront to justice itself.

The $300 million rumor seems to have originated with GD Culture Group—a company that, much like your cousin Dave, likes to dabble in a bit of everything, here specifically, “AI-enhanced content on TikTok.” GD Culture said something about investing in Trump memecoin and Bitcoin—which, to Sherman, is basically a signed confession written in Comic Sans.

“Trump creates ‘Trump Coins’ at no cost, meaning this is just a $300 million bribe that goes right into his pocket,” Sherman asserted. To which most crypto experts responded by rolling their eyes hard enough to cause temporary dizziness. 🌀

Community Stands Up—And Up, And Up—Against Sherman

The reaction from online denizens ranged from polite skepticism to full-on “is this satire?” skepticism. Many pointed out that, unless you can mint coins from the back of a cereal box, creating a legit cryptocurrency isn’t exactly free.

One particularly subtle commentator suggested, “No one wants TikTok banned, except the Israeli lobby, aka your puppet masters. Why don’t you put up a poll asking your constituents if they want TikTok banned.” Ah, democracy in action—Twitter polls, the gold standard of public opinion since, well, never.

Sherman’s track record: he wants crypto banned, don’t you know. In 2019 he called for a full-on crypto lockdown, presumably just moments before shouting at pigeons in the park.

Meanwhile, the Trump administration is laser-focused on promoting good old US dollar-pegged stablecoins to keep Uncle Sam’s greenbacks at the top of the cache. So if you’re following along at home: Sherman is anti-crypto, Trump is pro-crypto (but only as long as it serves the dollar), and TikTok just wishes everyone would stop dragging their name into this circus.

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2025-06-20 12:21