JPMorgan CEO Shockingly Approves Bitcoin for Clients! 💰😂

by

JPMorgan boss finally admits Bitcoin isn’t just a scam—well, sort of…

Jamie Dimon, of JPMorgan fame—known for dismissing Bitcoin as a worthless fad—suddenly thinks it’s okay for his clients to dabble in the digital chaos. Imagine that! During a fancy speech on May 19, 2025, he announced the grand news, as if he’d just found a stray dollar in his pocket.

After years of calling Bitcoin a fraud, Dimon now joins the ranks of other banks like Morgan Stanley, who have apparently lost their minds. The twist? JPMorgan will let clients buy Bitcoin, but don’t get too excited—they’re not holding it. Heaven forbid the bank get involved in digital magic. They’re just here for the “buy,” not the “hold.”

When asked about his personal opinion, Dimon truly outdid himself:

“I don’t think you should smoke, but I defend your right to smoke. I defend your right to buy Bitcoin.” 😂

Back in 2021, he called Bitcoin “worthless,” and he didn’t shy away from repeating that gem at Senate hearings in 2023 and at Davos in 2024—because why not remind everyone how much he hates it? Earlier this year, he went as far as to say Bitcoin is a “fraud,” because that’s the kind of optimism we cherish.

He’s clear on his stance—crypto, especially Bitcoin, is just a tool for criminals, money laundering, and tax evasion. His words, not ours. And if it were up to him, Bitcoin would vanish faster than your last paycheck.

“If I was the government, I’d close it down,” he declared in December 2023, probably while glaring at his coffee.

Meanwhile, the banking world is warming up to crypto like a cat to a sunbeam. Banks such as Morgan Stanley are diving right in, probably while laughing all the way to the vault. The excitement around Bitcoin ETFs and tokenized assets—thanks to players like BlackRock—is giving everyone FOMO.

Even the regulators are starting to get the hang of it, turning the crypto tide into a tidal wave. With Trump’s pro-crypto stance, the future looks bright—if only dimly lit by skepticism and sarcasm.

Read More

2025-05-19 22:37