Kidnapped for Bitcoin? 🤑

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Oh dear, it seems the bitcoin brigade is in a spot of bother. Kidnappings, ransomware attacks – really, it’s all so… distressing. 😩

But fear not, dear bitcoin enthusiasts, for Alena Vranova, the erstwhile co-founder of Trezor, has launched GLOK, a security service that promises to keep you and your digital assets safe from harm. 🛡️

GLOK, you see, offers a private geolocation app that allows you to send distress alerts to a select group of friends and family, all while keeping your data secure and private. Because, really, the last thing you want is for your kidnappers to know that you’ve alerted the authorities. 🚫

And, if you’re feeling particularly… adventurous, GLOK also provides counter-kidnapping training, conducted by seasoned security professionals who will teach you how to anticipate and avoid threats. One assumes this includes lessons on how to make a decent martini while being held captive. 🍸

Vranova, the clever thing, has emphasized the need for innovative security solutions in the ever-changing world of digital asset ownership. And, really, who can argue with that? 🤑

The GLOK app will soon enter beta testing, and early users are invited to help refine its functionality. Because, really, what could possibly go wrong with a group of amateur testers trying to outsmart kidnappers? 🤔

Read more about the thrilling world of crypto kidnappings, if you dare. 😱

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2025-07-17 10:57