Kiyosaki Scandalizes Society: Ditch Central Banks for Bitcoin, Lady Catherine Faints!

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Mr. Robert Kiyosaki, a gentleman of considerable fame for his treatise “Rich Dad Poor Dad” (a title, one must confess, more arresting than any vicar’s sermon), took to the X platform, which—though less formidable than the drawing room—allows for proclamations to society at large. There, with all the decorum of a guest seizing the last scone, he expounded upon Bitcoin, much to the dismay of traditionally-minded aunts.

Drawing upon the musings of the venerable (and somewhat revolutionary) Mr. Ron Paul—a gentleman of such forthright opinions one wonders how he bears them—Kiyosaki reminded the assembly that Mr. Paul is the author of End the Fed. Indeed, he is quite adamant that central banks are, if not a menace akin to an undesirable suitor, at the very least a nuisance worthy of prompt dismissal. His principal wish? To abolish such banks, ushering us all toward “a sound honest money system”—though, presumably, with less lace and more ledger.

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Kiyosaki (winking, one suspects, behind his tweet) informs us that Mr. Paul’s view is thus: the central bank’s tampering with interest rates is no less dangerous than Lady Lucas setting up her daughters with unsuitable matches—price fixing, but for your purse! Indeed, central planning is alleged to “steal your wealth, destroy production, steal our freedoms”—all in all, a rather impertinent houseguest.

WORDS of WISDOM from former US Congressman Ron Paul: Author of “End the Fed” and advocate for ending the Fed, all Central Banks, and getting back to a sound honest money system.

Ron Paul states:

“A central bank setting interest rates is price fixing and a form of central…”

— Robert Kiyosaki (@theRealKiyosaki) May 10, 2025

One should perhaps whisper—lest the neighbours overhear—that Mr. Paul possesses more affection for Bitcoin than for any debutante in Bath. Equally spirited, Kiyosaki dispenses the same advice as a persistent mother promoting her daughter’s pianoforte skills: shun the “fake money,” meaning—oh scandal!—the unbacked US dollar, and turn your affection instead to Bitcoin, silver, and gold. Not in sentiment, mind you, but in tangible form! “Get on your own decentralized gold, silver, and Bitcoin standard,” he encourages, with the air of one dispatching suitors at a ball. 💃

Bitcoin, then, is newly fashionable—not only a hedge against central banks, but a shield to wave in the face of global tumult, like Mrs. Bennett with her salts.

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As the week unfolded, Mr. Kiyosaki sounded the alarm with even greater drama (one can almost hear the fainting couches being summoned): renowned Japanese automakers—Toyota, Honda, and Nissan—have rethought their arrangements in America. Honda and Nissan, in a fit of pique equal to that of a rejected marriage proposal, have called off both their merger and part of their American production, all due to the current President’s tariffs, which are so extortionate one might suspect them to be the work of Sir Walter Elliot’s creditors.

With tariffs spiraling to 150% (causing murmurs in both drawing room and carriage), China responds in kind. In consequence, Kiyosaki counsels preparation for a market disaster of such proportions even Lady Catherine de Bourgh would be at a loss for words. And yet! Have hope, dear reader! For gold, silver, and—oh yes—Bitcoin remain “your defense in this global war caused by greed, insanity, and fear.” In other words: mind your investments, lock your doors, and keep a stiff upper lip. 🫖✨

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2025-05-10 10:02