Kraken & Backed Unleash 24/7 Robot Stocks—Has Finance Finally Lost Its Mind?

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What must the soul apprehend?

  • The men at Kraken and Backed Finance, in a fit of technological fever, now unleash upon the world tokenized securities on BNB Chain. Apple and Nvidia’s fate are to know no rest, traded endlessly, prisoners of the blockchain, with not even a Sunday for their salvation. 🍏🤖
  • A host of exchanges—Robinhood, Gemini, Bybit—scramble like Dostoevskian gamblers in a Petersburg den, each seeking to outpace the other in the mad dash to drape equities in blockchain’s cold embrace. 📈🏃‍♂️

Picture it, dear reader: in the inescapable gloom of Wednesday, Kraken and Backed Finance proclaim that equities—those dusty relics of Wall Street—shall be reborn as tokens upon the mighty BNB Chain. Night and day, Apple and Nvidia must now dance to a ceaseless tempo, their worth measured and traded by faceless multitudes. The very notion of “market hours” mocked, as if the sun dare dictate to capital!

Can you conceive? Tokens, little digital phantoms of Apple (AAPLx), Tesla (TSLAx), and even that Saturnine behemoth, the S&P 500 ETF (SPYx), now flutter across BNB Chain as BEP-20s. The xStocks Alliance welcomes BNB Chain into its cabal—a brotherhood of exchanges and DeFi protocols, offering a theater for sixty equity tokens to cavort, as though the walls of reality itself have grown thin.

Soon, Kraken assures us, xStocks tokens will leap from hand to hand, through deposits and withdrawals on BNB Chain. Do you feel the existential weight? The tokens—so light, so digital!—will journey across protocols and chains. Mr. Adam Levi, co-founder of Backed, preaches that soon these equity tokens may become collateral for borrowing, perhaps as pointless as Raskolnikov’s infamous paperwork, but with less chance of bloodshed.

And lo, Arjun Sethi, co-CEO of Kraken, granted his utterance to the crowd: “This is the genesis of an always-on equity market”—as if some madman built a never-closing tavern, vulgar and fluorescent, where men and machines trade and trade, unable to find the doorbone of the night. “These instruments behave as programmable settlement primitives, unlocking atomic settlement, real-time global transferability, composability with on-chain lending, derivatives, and structured products.” O, to see such poetry poured upon finance! 🎭💸

Would you be surprised that all are swept along by this current? xStocks burst forth last week on Kraken, Bybit, and even Solana’s dank corridors—Gemini and Robinhood crowd the field, eager to play. Bitget, never to be outdone, joins the alliance, announcing to the empty night their commitment, as if it were a balm to the world’s sufferings.

So let us stare into this abyss of tokenized equities—24/7, global, relentless, and perhaps, if one is honest, just a little bit absurd. Is it freedom, or a new kind of servitude? The market, my friend, is always watching—and now, never sleeps. 🕰️😅

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2025-07-09 16:41