Michael Saylor’s Bitcoin Bonanza: Billion-Dollar Hoarding Spree Unleashed!

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Oh, look! Michael Saylor and his merry band of crypto collectors just decided to throw $1.4 billion at 15,355 shiny new Bitcoins. Because who doesn’t want a digital pile of pretend money that sometimes bounces like a pogo stick and other times nosedives like a confused bat? 🦇

Our fearless leader Saylor announced on April 28th—like a proud dragon guarding his gold—that his company snagged these coins at around $92,737 each. That’s right, dear reader, when most folks are budgeting for groceries, these people are busy buying more magical internet tokens to stow away in their secret vaults.

“$MSTR has acquired 15,355 BTC for ~$1.42 billion at ~$92,737 per bitcoin and has achieved BTC Yield of 13.7% YTD 2025. As of 4/27/2025, we hodl 553,555 $BTC acquired for ~$37.90 billion at ~$68,459 per bitcoin.”

— Michael Saylor (@saylor) April 28, 2025

Now, if you’re wondering how one even manages to buy that many digital coins without tripping over your own digital wallet, well—Strategy clearly knows the secret handshake. With that latest purchase, their total treasure chest bursts to a jaw-dropping 553,555 BTC, bought for the small change of $37.9 billion (and yes, the average price per coin is about $68,459, so don’t even try telling your kids to save for college).

And as Bitcoin does its magic dance above $95,000, this horde is now worth a cool $52.7 billion, which means an unrealized profit of roughly $15 billion—enough to make a dragon blush. So, while some see digital sparks and crashes, Strategy just keeps piling up the loot, riding the rollercoaster like pros. 🎢

Meanwhile, the stock price of Strategy’s company playfully waltzed back from the depths of under $240 to prideful heights near $370, marking a spicy 27.4% monthly leap. Not bad for a portfolio made of internet pixie dust, eh? 💸

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2025-04-28 16:33