Ah! Monsieur Michael Saylor, the valiant knight of MicroStrategy’s round table, doth once again arise with great fervor, begging the grand nation of the United States to enlarge its narrow mind and embrace this curious contraption named Bitcoin! Nay, not merely a trifle for peasants to gamble upon, but a majestic national digital reserve worthy of its crown and sceptre.
In an audience, or rather an interview with the noble scribes of CNBC, he proclaimed that Bitcoin shall ascend like an impatient phoenix towards the very end of 2025, after a tiresome waltz of sideways prancing.
The Demand for Bitcoin: A Frenzy Most Curious!
Last week, he and his league of merry crypto conspirators ventured forth to Washington, the land of pomp and bewilderment, to extol the virtues of the “Strategic Bitcoin Reserve Bill.” His sermon to the wise men and women of policy was clear: Bitcoin is no mere bauble, but the destined sovereign of coinage!
“The United States,” quoth he, “must possess a vast empire-not of lands or gold, but of cyberspace itself!”
Despite the most undignified stagnation of Bitcoin’s price-ambling lazily between $112,000 and $115,000 like a dancer missing his cue-our Michael assures us that noble companies and institutions clamor for it as if it were the last slice of pâté en croûte.
Whilst miners toil underground to unearth some 450 Bitcoin each day, the ravenous appetites of businesses gulp down nearly 1,755 daily, with ETFs chipping in another 1,430. Surely, this insatiable hunger shall propel our digital friend higher than a cat in a tree, or a hedgehog on a unicycle later this annum!
Bitcoin: The Elixir of Corporate Fortunes
With a twinkle of wisdom and a dash of bravado, Saylor declares that companies embracing Bitcoin’s siren call grow mightier by each satoshi they clutch.
Nearly 180 companies now hoard this digital treasure like dragons upon their hoards, with BlackRock’s ETFs leading the charge. MicroStrategy, the grand hoarder, boasts almost 638,985 Bitcoin – a hoard that would make even King Midas weep.
Some treat Bitcoin as they would a trusty gold nugget, preserving it through thick and thin like a neglected wine cellar. Others, more shrewd or perhaps eccentric, brandish it as a treasury asset in lieu of cash or the tiresome act of stock buybacks. Saylor, ever the romantic, compares this to the ancient gold-backed credit system of yore-which, incidentally, kept the world spinning-only now, dear reader, the world shall twirl with Bitcoin at the helm.
Bitcoin: The New Gold, But With a Bit of Flamboyance
“Gold,” says Saylor, with a gleam in his eye, “has served mankind well for three centuries-like a regal, unmovable monarch. But it lacks a certain… pizzazz. One cannot simply command gold with the flick of a wand, nor instruct it to dance upon command.”
“Bitcoin,” he continues, “is gold, but in a merry masquerade of technology and code!”
As the last sunsets of 2025 blaze beyond the horizon, our knight envisions Bitcoin not as a mere coin to shuffle and barter, but as the steadfast foundation of the future’s mighty money palace.
So, dear audience, gather your wits, clutch your ledgers, and prepare for a digital masquerade that might just be the financial spectacle of our age… or the greatest jest since Molière himself took the stage! 🎭💸
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2025-09-24 10:53