MicroStrategy’s Bitcoin Shenanigans: A Wacky Tale of Dollars and Digital Gold!

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Well, well, well! MicroStrategy has just revealed its latest escapade into the land of Bitcoin on the 26th of January. In what can only be described as their fourth ‘shopping spree’ of the month, they’ve splurged a staggering $264.1 million on Bitcoin at an eye-watering average price of $90,061 per BTC. Who needs a fortune teller when you have a spreadsheet?

This little shopping trip brings their average cost per Bitcoin down to a cozy $76,037. All this while Bitcoin is doing the wobbly dance in January, slipping from high-flying prices above $95,000 to the nostalgic low $80,000s. It’s like watching a soap opera with more ups and downs than a rollercoaster!

So, here’s the scoop: Strategy has snagged 2,932 BTC for around $264.1 million at approximately $90,061 each. As of the 25th of January, we’re holding onto 712,647 $BTC, which we acquired for about $54.19 billion at around $76,037 per Bitcoin. $MSTR $STRC

– Michael Saylor (@saylor) January 26, 2026

The Not-So-Secret Purchase Recipe

Now, while this headline-grabbing buy might make MicroStrategy look like the confident captain of the good ship Bitcoin, beneath the surface, the funding model appears to be teetering on the edge of the abyss. Gasp!

They primarily funded their January 20-25 shopping extravaganza through the mysterious art of equity issuance. Ah, the fine art of making money vanish into thin air!

In their latest magic trick, they sold 1,569,770 shares of common stock, pulling in a neat $257 million, along with 70,201 shares of STRC preferred stock for an additional $7 million. Total proceeds? Almost exactly $264 million, which suspiciously matches their Bitcoin shopping bill. Coincidence? I think not!

In layman’s terms: they paid for their shiny new Bitcoins by selling shiny new shares. Profits? What are those?

The bulk of the funds came from common stock, with a sprinkle of preferred shares to season the pot. Together, it looks like they’re relying on investor goodwill to keep the Bitcoin buffet open.

The mNAV Mystery Unveiled

Now let’s talk about something truly riveting: MicroStrategy’s multiple to net asset value (mNAV). This nifty little metric tells us how the company’s stock trades in relation to the value of Bitcoin they’re hoarding like a dragon with its gold.

As of January 26, their diluted mNAV stands at about 0.94x, which means their stock is trading at a delightful 6% discount to the Bitcoin that backs each share. Ouch! Talk about a slap in the face!

This is critical because their whole strategy hinges on issuing shares above net asset value. When shares trade at a discount, it risks turning them into the Grinch who stole shareholder value. Yikes!

The Accretive Issuance Slowdown

Once upon a time, MicroStrategy justified equity issuance by increasing Bitcoin per diluted share. But alas, that magical increase seems to be fading faster than a mirage in the desert.

According to their own tales:

  • On January 5, they were sitting pretty with 673,783 BTC and 345.6 million diluted shares, or a mere 0.001949 BTC per share.
  • By January 26, they’ve upped their holdings to 712,647 BTC, but the diluted shares have skyrocketed to 364.2 million, giving us a thrilling 0.001957 BTC per share.

That’s a grand total of a whopping 0.38% increase over the month. Exciting times indeed!

More importantly, between January 20 and January 26, the Bitcoin backing each share barely changed at all. It’s like expecting a new car and getting a bicycle instead!

Bitcoin Per Diluted Share Over Time? More like a flat tire!

The Dreaded Dilution Dilemma

Dilution is on the rise! From January 5 to January 26:

  • Diluted share count has soared by 5.36%.
  • Meanwhile, Bitcoin holdings increased by a meager 5.77%.

While holdings still marginally outpaced dilution over the full month, the gap has narrowed sharply in recent days, much like my patience at a never-ending meeting. This dilution aligns beautifully with the decline in mNAV and suggests the whole model is losing its spark.

If the stock continues to hover below net asset value, further equity issuance could mathematically reduce Bitcoin exposure per share. And nobody wants that!

Congratulations! You finally managed to get your average price above $76,000. But it looks like you’re running out of steam to keep Bitcoin above that level. Once again, the current price is already dipping well below your last average purchase price. What a surprise!

– Peter Schiff (@PeterSchiff) January 26, 2026

Capital Market Dependency: The Never-Ending Saga

MicroStrategy’s approach to Bitcoin remains as dependent on capital markets as a cat is on a sunny window ledge.

Over the past 19 months, they’ve raised an astonishing $18.56 billion through common equity issuance, releasing approximately 226.6 million shares. Their latest purchase simply adds to the dilution pile at a time when market conditions seem to be throwing a tantrum.

And let’s not forget about the growing reliance on preferred stock, which introduces fixed claims that are far fancier than plain old common shareholders. While preferred issuance can keep the Bitcoin party alive during equity weakness, it raises long-term obligations and complicates the balance sheet like a three-dimensional puzzle.

What’s in Store for Investors?

So, MicroStrategy’s latest Bitcoin adventure is not alarming due to its size or timing. No, the real concern lies in the structure, not conviction.

With mNAV now scraping the bottom of the barrel, Bitcoin-per-share accretion approaching zero, dilution accelerating like a racing car, and an ever-deepening reliance on capital markets, the company’s core strategy is facing constraints tighter than a pair of shoes after a holiday feast.

Unless equity premiums make a triumphant return, the ongoing Bitcoin accumulation could shift from being profitable to a financial black hole. And that would fundamentally alter the risk profile for shareholders, even if Bitcoin prices decide to play nice.

For the moment, the data indicates that MicroStrategy can still buy Bitcoin. The real question is whether they can keep doing so without turning shareholder value into a pumpkin at midnight!

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2026-01-26 23:21