Mr. Hoskinson’s Fiery Rebuttal to the Cardano Foundation: A Scandalous Squander 🤷‍♀️

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In a recent assembly of minds, our esteemed Mr. Charles Hoskinson, with all the fervor of a man defending his ancestral estate, delivered a most pointed critique of the Cardano Foundation (CF), deeming it necessary to bar them from claiming Midnight’s NIGHT tokens. “We built it. It is my money. We may do as we please,” he declared, as if addressing a misbehaving cousin at a family dinner. The airdrop, he assured his audience, was a “noble experiment,” though one might question whether the CF’s exclusion was a matter of principle or mere spite.

The Midnight redemption debacle, he insisted, was but a “necessary restraint,” as the terms of the airdrop warned against “undue burden and harm to the network.” One wonders, however, if the CF’s absence from such warnings was due to oversight or an unfortunate lack of foresight. “The Swiss government,” he alleged, “stole the ADA,” a claim as scandalous as a lady’s missing heirloom. Yet, he mused, “Let another more industrious soul claim the NIGHT,” as if bestowing a less-than-lustrous inheritance.

Hoskinson’s Rhetorical Flourish Against the CF

Later, in a moment of unguarded candor, he inquired, “At what juncture shall the community bid the CF adieu?”-a query delivered with the delicacy of a scolding aunt. When pressed on blacklisting the Foundation’s addresses, he replied, “Why invite a rogue actor?”-a metaphor as sharp as a well-aimed quill. “It is costly, I confess,” he lamented, “to forge alliances with the great ones, yet our rivals, with their bloated foundations and billion-dollar endowments, do it with ease.” One might imagine Mr. Darcy himself sighing at such inequities.

Yet, he claimed, the Midnight rollout is a boon to Cardano, with custody and exchange integrations that would make a merchant’s ledger blush. “We have partnered with Copper,” he announced, “and they shall support both Midnight and Cardano-native assets.” One imagines the CF, left to stew in their own tea leaves, wondering how they might have secured such favor.

Even Chainlink, he noted, is embroiled in a “first-ever UTXO deployment,” though their skepticism regarding engineering costs suggests a union of convenience rather than affection. “We shall see,” he mused, “if Sergey and I may resolve this,” as if arranging a dance at Netherfield.

The Midnight Foundation: A Paragon of Industry

By contrast, the Midnight Foundation, he proclaimed, is a paragon of vigor, with 110 deals in the pipeline and account managers as hungry as a fox in a henhouse. “Intersect,” he declared, “is the very embodiment of my original vision,” though one might question whether $600 million and four additional years would suffice to rescue it from mediocrity. “Sunlight,” he insisted, is the remedy for the CF’s misdeeds, though one suspects a few more audits might be required to dispel the shadows.

As for the audit report, he claimed it is “nigh upon completion,” a document he deemed “exoneration for us” and “damning for them.” Yet, one cannot help but wonder if the CF’s “recusal of responsibilities” was a matter of principle or mere negligence. “Were there apologies?” he asked, as if querying the manners of a miscreant at a ball. “I think not.”

At press time, ADA traded at $0.8795, a figure as unremarkable as a sprained ankle at a country fair.

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2025-08-25 12:14