NYPD Detectives Drown in Crypto Chaos—What a Mishap! 🚓💥

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NYPD Detectives Drown in Crypto Chaos—What a Mishap! 🚓💥

Two loyal NYPD detectives are now apparently caught up in quite a mess involving the kidnapping of an Italian cryptocurrency whiz—because what better way to wrap up a career than with a dash of criminal intrigue?

Unapproved Security Services (or How Not to Be a Bodyguard)

Imagine this: two NYPD officers, Roberto Cordero and Raymond J. Low, allegedly playing security guard for a luxury apartment where a savvy Italian crypto guy was held hostage. Because, naturally, when the police get bored, they become part-time bodyguards for kidnappers. Detective Cordero, whose resume boasts 20 years of service, apparently went above and beyond—as in, he allegedly drove the victim from the airport straight into the arms of his captors. No big deal. Read the drama.

The victim, Michael Valentino Teofrasto Carturan, was reportedly kidnapped by two crypto investors—John Woeltz and William Duplessie. That’s right: the guys who probably spend more time with blockchain code than with common sense. Over two weeks, they tortured him for access to a digital wallet bursting with bitcoin—because apparently, that’s what you do when you want a free crypto payday.

Luckily, Carturan managed to escape, which is probably the most impressive thing that’s happened in Manhattan since the last subway delay. He promptly handed over a police report, leading to the arrest of Woeltz and Duplessie, who are now facing kidnapping and torture charges. The grand jury is set to unmask and indict Woeltz officially on June 11—probably with a good deal of finger wagging involved.

Meanwhile, Detective Cordero, whose reputation has obviously taken a nosedive, has been accused of abusing his authority—and the same goes for Low. So much for trusting the boys in blue with your crypto, huh? As for the detectives, they’re now on modified duty—meaning, they’re probably hiding out somewhere with a sense of humor slightly dented and a lot of explaining to do. Because nothing says “professional” like kidnapping a crypto mogul and allegedly helping his captors.

Detectives looking slightly guilty

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2025-06-02 10:01