Ohio Politicians Just Called Bitcoin a “Financial Transaction Device” and the Universe May Never Recover

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Once upon a time—in a humble corner of the cosmos known as Ohio—a group of thoroughly earnest state officials gathered around what was almost certainly an unnecessarily large table (with donuts, surely) to contemplate a fundamental question: what, exactly, do you call this peculiar thing known as cryptocurrency? Enter Coinbase’s Chief Legal Officer, Paul Grewal, with a phrase dazzling in its elegance, its brevity, and its ability to sound like it was invented by someone assembling IKEA furniture at 3a.m.: “financial transaction device.”

Why, you may ask, is this significant? Because, gentle earthling, these three words could propel crypto from the murky land of Tech Bro Jargon directly into the stodgy, coffee-stained folders of state government policy. Astoundingly, this is not a plot for a lost episode of Black Mirror, but an actual thing happening in Ohio, where politicians are apparently bored enough to gamble with the very fabric of fiscal space-time.

On April 25, Secretary of State Frank LaRose and Treasurer Robert Sprague (both accomplished collectors of official titles), gently tapped on the State Board of Deposit’s door and said: “How about we start accepting cryptocurrency for government services, hmm?” The Board, for its part, is weighing whether Bitcoin can join such legendary instruments of finance as Visa cards, checks, and slightly chewed pencils.

State governments are embracing crypto payments. Good on Ohio Secretary of State @FrankLaRose and @OhioTreasurer Robert Sprague in calling on the Buckeye State to do just this. Cryptocurrency could and should be designated as an authorized “financial transaction device” by the…

— paulgrewal.eth (@iampaulgrewal) May 5, 2025

Now, to be clear, Ohio isn’t exactly blazing a new trail through the digital wilderness—once upon a recent yesteryear, they did let businesses pay taxes in Bitcoin, before discovering there were actually rules, laws, and (tragically) paperwork involved. It ended about as well as you’d expect when bureaucracy and innovation meet: lots of confusion, not enough coffee.

This time, though, they swear they’re doing it properly. The new plan looks suspiciously like using a credit card: you pay with crypto, someone (who is not you) converts it to good old-fashioned dollars, Ohio gets its money, and everyone pretends it’s not all a little bit magical. 🪄✨

In summary, Grewal’s three-word vision recasts crypto not as a mystical artifact but as something almost… painfully normal. Will “financial transaction device” be the phrase that launches 1,000 government memos and a dozen very confused taxpayers? Only time—and Ohio—will tell. 🚀🤷‍♂️

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2025-05-05 18:16