Oy vey! Kraken, that mishigas crypto exchange, has shacked up with Mastercard! 💍 Can you believe it? It’s like putting gefilte fish on a pizza! 🍕🐟
Apparently, this unholy alliance is supposed to make it easier for all you schnorrers in the EU 🇪🇺 to blow your hard-earned (or crypto-mined) shekels. Now you can spend your precious Bitcoin on… what? More avocado toast? 🥑
Thanks to this cockamamie scheme, you can now use your funny money at over 150 million places that take Mastercard! That’s right, folks! Pay for your schmatta and tchotchkes with the same stuff that’s probably gonna be worthless tomorrow! 💸
They’re saying this is a big step toward making crypto “usable” in real life. I say, it’s a big step toward making me need a bigger vault for all the rubles I’m gonna make shorting this whole shebang! 💰
So go ahead, spend your digital assets like you’re Jay Gatsby at a bar mitzvah. 🎉 Just don’t come crying to me when your lambo turns into a pumpkin! 🎃
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2025-04-08 16:07