Ripple, CB Insights, and the UK Centre for Blockchain Technologies have concocted a magical potion of a report, released on July 30, that delves into how traditional finance is throwing its hat into the blockchain ring. This spellbinding document, titled “Banking on Digital Assets,” tracks 345 investments made by global banks between 2020 and 2024, including 33 funding rounds that would make Scrooge McDuck blush, each exceeding $100 million. 🤑
Chairman Michael Saylor, ever the showman, took to X to announce their latest acquisition: 21,021 BTC at an average price of $117,256 per token. One must commend their flair for financial jargon—turning an IPO into a “Variable Rate Series A Perpetual Stretch Preferred Stock (STRC)” is nothing short of poetic. 🎭📈
Coinbase, America’s largest crypto exchange (and possibly its most self-important), has graciously announced the arrival of nano XRP and nano SOL perpetual futures. These shiny new products will descend upon traders like manna from the blockchain heavens—or so they’d have you believe. The stated aim? To swell the ranks of regulated crypto derivatives offerings, because apparently, there weren’t enough ways to lose money already.
This downturn? A masterclass in crypto theater. Whales have quit their seats in the orchestra, and tokens are filing into exchanges like guests at a tax audit. Profit-taking, they call it. A fancy way of saying “sell-offs and sighs.”
Let’s break this down. Sellers using local crypto exchanges will now pay 0.21%, which doesn’t sound like much until you realize how many trades happen every second. Meanwhile, overseas traders are staring at a whopping 1% tax. Oof. The government did toss buyers a bone by eliminating value-added tax (VAT), but don’t get too excited—crypto miners are getting double-whammied with VAT jumping from 1.1% to 2.2%. And starting in 2026? Forget about that sweet 0.1% income tax rate; miners are back to paying standard rates like everyone else. Finance Minister Sri Mulyani Indrawati says it’s all about “legal certainty.” Sure, lady, if by “certainty,” you mean “pain.” 😬
O, the noble government, ever vigilant in its quest to extract every last coin from the pockets of the unsuspecting citizens! With crypto’s popularity soaring, they’ve deemed it prudent to impose a 0.21% tax on domestic sellers and a hefty 1% on those who dare trade abroad. How generous of them! 🕵️♂️
Picture it: July 30, an ordinary Wednesday afternoon—or so we thought. Suddenly, fifty wallets, all born between June 10 and July 31, 2017, began to dance in eerie synchrony. According to btcparser.com, these addresses transferred their contents as if rehearsed by some unseen conductor. Was it divine intervention? Or just another Tuesday in the life of crypto chaos?
Currently trading around $3,827—just a tad above that cozy $3,800 mark, giving it a weekly hop of 3.61%. It’s like watching a puppy chase its tail—slow but with purpose. Thanks to big shots pumping cash through Ethereum ETFs, the market’s feeling somewhat bullish, as if all the good wine is just starting to flow. The volume? Over $36 billion in just a day—a number that might make your bank account cry or sing, depending on your position. Ethereum flirted with $3,884, eyeing the mystical $3,900 resistance, which it teases like a lover reluctant to commit. Break that barrier and a rapid ascent towards $4,000 could be on the menu—maybe even with some short positions getting wiped out in the process, adding fuel to the speculative fire. 🔥
Look, PENGU’s become the shiny new toy in the meme crowd, thanks to some tweet from CryptoKaleo saying “dips are for buying.” As if we needed another reason to throw money at volatile junk. While the rest of the market’s just chilling sideways, PENGU’s strutting around like it knows something we don’t. People are glued to it, waiting for that “bullish leg” – whatever that means. Me? I’m just waiting for the inevitable faceplant. 🤦♂️
Strategy, once known as MicroStrategy, has secured 21,021 Bitcoins, a sum exceeding $2.46 billion, thus etching its name as the second most formidable acquisition in the year 2025. 🚀
