No One Saw This Coming: Goldman Sachs Predicts Faster Fed Cuts, S&P 500 Rockets Higher

The esteemed or perhaps simply indefatigable economists, hunched over their ever-dwindling stacks of economic reports, now muse there’s slightly more than a 50% chance—ah, the precision of modern prophecy!—that the Federal Reserve will cut interest rates at its September powwow. Previously they thought December, but who among us can keep track of the opinions that flutter through the corridors of finance like lost pigeons? 🐦

Shiba Inu Investors Torch Coins at Blistering Rate – But Wait, There’s Still More!

Today, for reasons that likely make sense if you’ve spent at least nine months living under a rock embroidered with “Web3,” SHIB’s burn rate rocketed skywards in, frankly, alarming fashion. A beastly mountain of meme coins was hurled into “inferno wallets”—places so remote and final they make Siberian winter look welcoming. Yet, despite these herculean efforts, SHIB supply continues to loom over the crypto landscape—a number so prodigious you’d need a whiteboard and several nervous breakdowns to count it: a paltry 589,248,746,682,927 SHIB remain. Or, as mathematicians call it: “a lot.”

Bitcoin Shrugs, Memecoin Mayhem: Tariffs, Squirrels & the Zany Crypto Circus!

Bitcoin: hovering as lazily as a crocodile after a Sunday roast at $108,600 — and changing less than Grandpa Joe changes socks. The wider CoinDesk 20 (CD20) index, meanwhile, crept up 1.8%, showing the sort of indifference you’d expect from a hedgehog at a porcupine convention. Tariff threats from President Trump? Yawn. Crypto markets rolled over and went back to napping. 💤

CORPORATIONS RACE TO THE BITCOIN GOLDMINE: THE END OF FIAT? 🤑💰

In a prediction that could be straight out of a dystopian novel, Livingston warns that the corporate rush to hoard Bitcoin is creating a demand shock of such magnitude that it could propel BTC into uncharted territories, forcing a seismic shift in the global financial landscape. One can almost hear the echoes of the past, the whispers of the fall of empires, as the world stands on the brink of a new era.

Metaplanet Wants to Buy ALL the Bitcoin—Oy Vey, Somebody Stop Them!

CEO Simon Gerovich, who apparently believes he’s Willy Wonka handing out golden tickets (but instead of chocolate, it’s blockchain), calls this market a “bitcoin gold rush.” Their wish list? Take Metaplanet’s already impressive pile of 15,555 bitcoins, and inflate it to 210,000 by 2027. That’s 1% of all bitcoin… ever. No small potatoes—more like a whole Idaho harvest. Gerovich keeps talking about “escape velocity,” which sounds like something you shout before launching a rocket—or, apparently, a financial plan. 🚀

Capcom Cancels ‘Monster Hunter Wilds’ Talk After Devs Get Threats

The upcoming discussion was scheduled at CEDEC, Japan’s largest gaming development conference, running from July 22 to 24. Capcom’s engineering team was all set to reveal strategies they used to address performance problems such as CPU, GPU, and memory overload, using Monster Hunter World as a practical demonstration. The session was aptly named “Optimizing Monster Hunter World for Smooth Gameplay: All You Need to Know about Performance Optimization.

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