Yes, dear reader, Jesse Hill has pleaded guilty to conspiring in a most audacious attempt to scam financial institutions. He’ll be sentenced in September, but who needs a court date when you’re already the star of your own criminal opera?
Now, what’s this all about? The analyst has unveiled the concept of the “SaylorCycle” – yes, you heard that correctly. It’s a term that sounds like something you’d find in a university economics textbook, but apparently, it’s a key to Bitcoin’s future success. Mills, in all his wisdom, believes this is the dawn of a new era for Bitcoin, spurred by institutional adoption and macroeconomic shifts that will rock the very foundation of the cryptocurrency world.
On-chain investigator ZachXBT, who apparently has the nose of a bloodhound and the patience of a saint, flagged suspicious outflows from several wallets linked to the platform. It seems that someone decided to play a game of digital hide-and-seek with the funds. Spoiler alert: they hid them very well. 🕵️♂️💰
Fear not, dear readers! Our gallant Meta Pool managed to contain the debacle before it spiraled into a full-blown tragedy, as revealed in a rather droll blog post dated June 17.
According to the magical calculations provided by the CME Group’s FedWatch—no Ouija board required—it seems the central bank shall once again hold its position, with interest rates languishing in the 4.25% to 4.5% range. Even the pleas of President Donald Trump for lower borrowing costs fall like raindrops on Lady Catherine’s umbrella: noticed, but utterly disregarded.
After its debut, there’s been a substantial decrease, dipping more than 10%. This downward trend might be due to the post-airdrop selling phase.
In a spectacle worthy of the finest theatre, the U.S. Senate has bestowed its blessing upon the bipartisan Guiding and Establishing National Innovation for U.S. Stablecoins (GENIUS) Act! This marks a momentous occasion for the crypto industry, akin to a grand debutante ball! Chairman of the Senate Banking Committee, Tim Scott (R-SC), announced this passage on June 17, showcasing a framework for payment stablecoins that even Molière would applaud!
Let’s check in on our favorite crypto darlings: Bitcoin is currently sliding into the weekend at $104,954, down over 2%. Ethereum isn’t having a good hair day either, falling to $2,522 after a 2.66% dip. And poor XRP? It’s practically wiping tears with a 9% drop down to $2.16. Traders are reacting like it’s the beginning of a horror movie, and nobody wants to be the last one standing! 💔
In a recent post on X (formerly known as Twitter, because who doesn’t love a good rebranding?), the analytics firm Santiment revealed that the Internet Computer is the reigning champ in the Development Activity metric. This fancy term measures how much work developers are putting into their public GitHub repositories. You know, the place where all the cool kids hang out. 😎
In a report that reads like a dramatic novel, Bitfinex analysts muse that while “some downside risk still lingers” amidst the chaos of macroeconomic turbulence and military tensions between Israel and Iran, this scenario presents a tantalizing gamble for investors. High stakes, high rewards—what could possibly go wrong? 😏
