Investment Policy

Grok, that Silicon Valley shaman, proclaims with the solemnity of a Kremlin decree: “By September 2026, the 1M BTC milestone shall be yours.” Yet, such pronouncements ignore the inconvenient truth that sustaining this pace would require a weekly alchemy of $1 billion-money conjured from the ether or, perhaps, the blood of shareholders. The arithmetic is simple: 238,932 BTC remain, but the path to them is paved with dilution, volatility, and the occasional existential crisis. A more “realistic” Grokian timeline? September 2026-a date etched in the sands of hope, if one ignores the tides of reality.

On Wednesday, the Bank of Korea (BOK) proudly announced the second phase of Project Hangang, their grand experiment in blockchain-based payments. They’ve added Kyongnam Bank and iM Bank to the mix, because nine banks are clearly better than seven. The project, conducted with the Financial Services Commission and the Financial Supervisory Service, is now testing deposit tokens for government subsidies and nationwide payments. Because if there’s one thing the world needs, it’s more acronyms.

The FOMC, that most enigmatic of committees, declared that economic activity “continues to expand at a solid pace”-a phrase so elastic it could stretch from here to Mars. Job gains, they noted, were “low,” and inflation, that rambunctious guest at the party, remained “somewhat elevated.” As for the Middle East conflict, they described it as “an additional variable,” which, in layman’s terms, means “we’re not entirely sure what’ll happen, but it’ll probably be bad.”

What of the grand promises? Regulatory clarity? Institutional access? Tokenized assets? All fine and dandy, but what good are they when the price chart looks like a drunkard’s scribble on a tavern wall? Bitwise’s model, built on 406 weeks of data, concludes with the bluntness of a hammer: Bitcoin’s coefficient is 0.99, rendering Ethereum’s “fundamentals” as impactful as a whisper in a cannon’s mouth. The network’s active addresses? A mere flicker compared to BTC’s blazing sun. Revenue generation? Removed from the model as one removes a fly from soup-“noise rather than signal,” indeed.