🚀 XRP ETF: $25M in a Day – Wall Street’s New Crypto Darling? 🎉

The Bitwise XRP ETF (ticker: XRP) waltzed onto the New York Stock Exchange on Nov. 20, givin’ U.S. investors a chance to own XRP without gettin’ their hands dirty with the token itself. 🕴️✨ On its debut, 1.14 million shares changed hands at an average price of $22, tallyin’ up to a cool $25 million. Now, that’s what I call a hootenanny! 🎉

3 Altcoins To Watch If Bitcoin Drops Under $80,000

Hold onto your wallets because Zcash is one of the few shiny spots in this crypto disaster zone. With charts that actually look… stable (what a concept!), ZEC has a juicy -0.87 correlation with Bitcoin. Translation? ZEC tends to go up when Bitcoin goes down. Take that, Bitcoin.

Crypto’s Great Crash: $2B Vanishes in 24 Hours 🚀💸

Bitcoin, that old grifter with a grin, accounted for half the carnage, leaving longs-those fools who bet on sunshine-scrambling like gophers with their holes collapsing. Shorts? They just stood there, smug as a cat in a sunbeam, pocketing $129.3 million while the rest of us wept into our coffee.