Investment Policy

Hold onto your wallets because Zcash is one of the few shiny spots in this crypto disaster zone. With charts that actually look… stable (what a concept!), ZEC has a juicy -0.87 correlation with Bitcoin. Translation? ZEC tends to go up when Bitcoin goes down. Take that, Bitcoin.

Bitcoin, that old grifter with a grin, accounted for half the carnage, leaving longs-those fools who bet on sunshine-scrambling like gophers with their holes collapsing. Shorts? They just stood there, smug as a cat in a sunbeam, pocketing $129.3 million while the rest of us wept into our coffee.

Glassnode, that oracle of on-chain whispers, has scribbled a new psalm on X: the Mayer Multiple, that peculiar ratio of spot price to 200-day moving average, has crawled back to its lowly perch. It’s like watching a man with a pocket watch and a hangover count every second twice.

Coinglass, our modern-day Cassandra, reports that $1B of this carnage occurred in the last hour alone. One imagines traders clutching pearls and muttering “not again” as the charts turned blood-red. Meanwhile, the average BTC ETF investor-bless their optimistic hearts-is currently marinating in losses like a particularly soggy crumpet.

MSCI, that most esteemed of financial soothsayers, has embarked upon a grand quest to determine the fate of firms whose digital assets exceed half their total assets. One might call it a bureaucratic ballet of exclusion! 🕺

Bitcoin’s price dropped like a lead balloon thanks to a long squeeze, where traders holding long positions were hit with a tsunami of liquidations. According to Coinglass, a whopping $443 million worth of long positions were liquidated in just 24 hours, compared to a paltry $26 million in short positions. Those long holders were probably cursing their luck as they watched their money vanish into thin air. 💸