Investment Policy

Jack Dorsey, that old trickster of tech, just opened a new road for crypto payments. Cash App, ever the showman, unveiled plans to let users send and receive stablecoins-because nothing says “mainstream” like a digital dollar.

Glassnode, the Sherlock Holmes of on-chain analytics, dropped their weekly report, and it’s a real buzzkill. 🕵️‍♂️ Apparently, altcoins are experiencing a “broad cooldown in speculation.” Translation: everyone’s too scared to play with leverage anymore. 😱 The metric in question? “Open Interest,” aka the total number of positions still open on derivatives exchanges. When it drops, it’s like the dance floor cleared at 9 PM. 🕺💨

Yes, strong long-term holder conviction and sustained exchange outflows suggest potential for a short-term recovery. Or, as the optimists say: “It’s just a dip, not the apocalypse.” 🙃

Bitcoin is likely to end the week under pressure, as it slips almost 6% from Thursday’s high and continues to hover under $100K. 🚀 (Because nothing says ‘I’m stable’ like hovering just below a round number.)

“A deposit is a deposit,” Hill intoned, as if reciting a mantra to ward off madness. Whether it rests in a vault or on a blockchain, it must retain its value and protections, he insisted. One imagines the FDIC as a weary monk, now tasked with insuring digital tokens instead of dusty coins. The upcoming guidance, they say, will clarify how insured tokenized deposits might function. Clarify? Perhaps. Resolve the deeper existential crisis of whether money can truly exist without a physical form? Never. For in this brave new world, even the FDIC’s $250,000 limit feels like a relic of a simpler age-or a cruel joke.

Though the technical analyses suggest a potential rebound, the gloomy economic forecasts, replete with recessionary specters and tariff-induced turmoil, cast a shadow over this optimism. One might say the global economy is less a thriving organism and more a poorly maintained Victorian clockwork. ⏳