Investment Policy

The Relative Strength Index-55 it reads, a number so neutral it might as well be a napkin. Bulls and bears? Both napping. Buyers? Dithering. Sellers? Smirking. Trading volume, once a bustling saloon, now hums like a lonesome harmonica at $120 million. Quiet, yes, but in the wrong kind of way. Like a coyote circling a chicken coop.

“Orange march,” he says. “Orange march,” I say, picturing him in a tiny orange onesie, leading a parade of corporate suits through Wall Street while holding a sign that reads “BUY THE DIP” in glitter. Meanwhile, the rest of us are Googling “how to cry in public without looking like a person who needs therapy.” But Saylor? He’s out here turning drawdowns into a spectator sport. If I lost $5 billion, I’d just buy a yacht and forget about it. Not Saylor. No, he’s out here buying Bitcoin like it’s the last box of cereal at the grocery store during a blackout.

Ah, the land of the rising sun! According to the learned scribes at Nikkei, a grand reform is afoot in the realm of financial legislation. It seems cryptocurrency in Japan has grown so plump it can no longer be ignored. With 13 million accounts, one in ten residents dabbles in crypto! And yet, like a wild beast, it has become a playground for rogues and tricksters.