Picture this: at the venerable Eleventh Circuit Court of Appeals, three wise judges sat-probably bored but dignified-who decided that Michael Prime’s latest cry of “Hey! That’s mine!” was a tad … unconvincing. Prime, fresh out of the clink, asked for his “precious” hard drive back, hoping the FBI’s digital extermination was just a bad joke. But nope! They wiped it clean, citing the “standard procedures” rule, which is conveniently as flexible as a rubber band. The court noted that Prime had a habit of denying his cryptocurrency empire, only to claim finery later-like a gambler trying to hide his chips after losing the big hand.
“Prime’s delay in claiming rights to his bitcoins was unreasonable,” said the judges, perhaps with a hint of smirk, “and awarding him the loot would be, well, just plain unfair.”