Investment Policy

Lucie has taken it upon herself to remind the Shiba Inu community—and the world at large—that the cryptocurrency space is currently under siege. Not from the wolves of Wall Street, no, but from the lowly scammers peddling “get-rich-quick” tokens that promise to turn your life around in the blink of an eye. But alas, what’s the price of such promises? Your hard-earned money, of course. The market’s chaos makes it all too easy for these charlatans to pounce on unsuspecting investors like vultures on a dying carcass.

The Pi Network, ever the enfant terrible of the crypto soiree, has pranced its way through the first 100 days since unveiling the Open Network—an event that involved, quite shockingly, more than a press release and a few exclamations of “Revolution!”.

Inspired by the illustrious guaranteed income programs, the Dance Workforce Resilience (DWR) Fund shall bestow upon over 320 dancers the princely sum of $1,000 each, with no strings attached! Imagine, dear friends, a world where money flows as freely as the music in a bustling tavern! 🎶

Sherman trumpeted (pun inevitable) that “Chinese owners of TikTok have announced they are buying ‘Trump Coins’ for $300 million.” How does he know? Well, he saw it somewhere, possibly on the same internet that swears you can lose belly fat in five days by eating only pickles.

Ouch, indeed!

Our dear smart contract has undergone a rigorous examination and emerged victorious, approved by none other than CertiK, the most revered name in blockchain audits. With zero critical vulnerabilities and real-time monitoring via CertiK Skynet, FUNToken now struts among the most secure Web3 assets on the market. Talk about a safety net! 🛡️

The two-day event, scheduled during Berlin Blockchain Week on June 20-21, will feature many projects and developments on Cosmos-based chains. 🌐

According to the ever-so-serious Julio Moreno from CryptoQuant, the pace of Bitcoin (BTC) accumulation has slowed down significantly. I mean, it’s like watching paint dry after its glorious rise to an all-time high of nearly $112,000 in May. Talk about a dramatic fall from grace! 🎢

As we inspect the Glassnode receipts (which surely would distress Lady Russell with their vulgar talk of millions), we spy a 7-day simple moving average for XRP profits at $68.8 million—quite the sum to elicit fainting couches and nervous coughs at the next assembly. Such is the evidence of “distribution pressure,” a phenomenon Mr. Wickham might exploit were he furnished with a private key.