Prison Break: Tornado Cash Dev Gets Out, Token Goes 🚀

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So, you know how that Tornado Cash guy, Alexey Pertsev, got thrown in the slammer for, like, forever? Yeah, well, guess what? He’s getting sprung! That’s right, the dude who coded up a mixer that made the IRS go “wait, what?” is walking free this Friday. 🤯 And guess what else? The TORN token, which is like, the only thing that’s actually been mixing well lately, is having a party. 🎉

Turns out, this electronic monitoring thing is a real upgrade from prison cells. Sure, it’s not exactly *free,* but hey, at least he’s not sharing a bathroom with a bunch of dudes who haven’t seen a shower in weeks. 🤢 This guy even thinks he might be able to fight back against the whole money laundering thing. Like, yeah, good luck with that, buddy. You’re still in the US legal system. You’re not gonna win. 🤷‍♂️

Tornado Cash Developer To Be Released on Friday

Apparently, Pertsev himself broke the news on X (formerly Twitter) about his impending release. He’s like, “Yo, they’re letting me out on parole. Sweet! I’m gonna get a real job!” Just kidding! It’s more like he’s gonna keep fighting the good fight against the system that threw him in the clink for making a tool that technically allows for, you know, anonymous transactions. 🤑 But hey, that’s a whole other story for another day. For now, it’s just the good news of him being free from the cold, hard, grimy bars of prison. 🙌

Of course, we can’t forget about Roman Storm, the other Tornado Cash dude who’s been dragged through the mud by this whole ordeal. He’s like, “Hey, what about me? I’m not a criminal!” But alas, the legal system is not a fan of anonymity, which is kind of ironic because, you know, a big part of the whole internet is supposed to be about being anonymous. 🤪

Ethereum Founder Supports Alexey Pertsev

Now, we’ve got Vitalik Buterin, the mastermind behind Ethereum, throwing his support behind Pertsev. He’s like, “Milady!” That’s not just some random phrase, folks. It’s a whole thing in the crypto community. Like, a sign of solidarity. And it’s pretty obvious that Buterin is on Team Pertsev. He’s been advocating for the guy’s freedom for ages. Not only that, but he even helped get him a comfy-looking pillow for his prison bed. You know, because everybody knows prison is rough enough without a good pillow. 😂

Milady

— vitalik.eth (@VitalikButerin) February 6, 2025

It’s almost like Buterin thinks this whole thing is a bit of a farce. Like, “Oh, you’re locking up a guy who built a tool that can be used for both good and bad things? That’s just plain silly!” And honestly, he’s not wrong. It’s like punishing a car mechanic for making a car that can be used to commit a crime. Does that make any sense? We think not. 🙅‍♂️

Protocol Developer’s Five-Year Prison Sentence

So, let’s rewind a little. This whole mess started back in 2022 when the US government decided Tornado Cash was bad, bad, bad because some bad guys were using it to, you know, hide their dirty money. But here’s the thing: Tornado Cash itself wasn’t the bad guy. It’s like saying a knife is bad because someone stabbed someone with it. The knife is just a tool. It’s what you do with it that matters. 🔪

Anyway, Pertsev got slapped with a five-year sentence for, get this, “failing to prevent illicit use” of the mixer. Like, dude, you’re the guy who built a website! Not a security guard. Come on. 🙄 But hey, thankfully, after a few months, the judge decided to let him out early because, well, he wasn’t really a danger to society

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2025-02-07 00:36