Quantum Panic: Will Bitcoin Survive the Great Unraveling? 🧵💸

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In the vast and tumultuous sea of human folly, where fear and ignorance reign supreme, the latest tempest has arisen around the indomitable Bitcoin. 🌪️ Blockstream’s sage, Adam Back, with a wave of his hand, has dismissed the quantum FUD as naught but the wailings of those who grasp not the intricate dance of the Bitcoin network. Ah, the folly of man! 😏

One Josh Otten, a scribe of our age, hath proclaimed that a quantum computer, armed with Shor’s algorithm, could unravel the very fabric of Bitcoin’s earliest wallets. “Behold!” he cried, “Satoshi’s treasure shall be laid bare, and the market shall crumble like a house of cards in a gale!” 🏰💨 Yet, in this grand tragedy, one wonders: is it not the height of hubris to assume such a fate?

According to this Cassandra of the digital age, Bitcoin’s price shall plummet to naught in the blink of an eye. 😱 But pray, let us not forget: Bitcoin’s security doth not lie in encryption, but in the elegant waltz of elliptic curve cryptography (ECC), specifically the secp256k1 curve. Private keys sign, public keys verify-a ballet of ownership, not a vault of secrets. 🩰✨

Ah, but the quantum specter looms! Vitalik Buterin, Ethereum’s prophet, warns of its real and measurable threat. Solana’s Anatoly Yakovenko, ever the gambler, places odds at 50/50 that quantum power shall threaten Bitcoin’s cryptography within five years. Yet, Back, with the calm of a man who hath seen many storms, declares: “Fear not, for this tempest is but a distant cloud, 20 to 40 years hence-if ever.” ☁️⏳

Even now, the most advanced quantum systems, with their qubits aplenty, lack the error-corrected logical qubits to wield Shor’s algorithm at scale. And lo, post-quantum cryptography stands ready, a bulwark against the unknown. 🛡️

Assessing the Quantum Threat

In this grand drama of man versus machine, one cannot help but chuckle at our penchant for doom. 🃏 For what is life, if not a series of unfounded fears and misplaced anxieties? Yet, Bitcoin endures, a testament to human ingenuity-or perhaps, our sheer stubbornness. 🚀

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2025-12-15 01:14