Rate Cut? Crypto Stocks Jump as Fed Stumbles!

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Ah, the stock market, where fortunes are made and lost with the grace of a drunk penguin. 🐧💸 Several crypto-linked stocks climbed on Friday as prediction-market odds of a December rate cut surged to 87% on Polymarket, the highest level this month. A number so high, it’s practically a guarantee-unless the universe has a sense of humor. 🤯

Three US-listed Bitcoin miners led the rally, with Cleanspark, Riot Platforms and Cipher Mining all rising in the session and showing double-digit gains over the past five days. One might say they’re as cheerful as a parrot in a jazz band. 🐦💰

Yahoo Finance data showed Circle, the issuer of USDC, jumped nearly 10% in early trading, while Michael Saylor’s Strategy and Coinbase notched more modest increases at the time of writing. Circle was practically doing the cha-cha on the charts, while the others were more like the wallflower at the party. 🧠📈

Bitcoin (BTC) was also up around 7% on the week, after dropping to around $82,000 on Nov. 21, according to CoinGecko data. A classic case of “I’ll be back” for the digital asset. 🐿️💸

Much of the volatility in prediction-market pricing this month has been driven by comments from Federal Reserve officials. The Fed, that enigmatic bunch of economists, has been as predictable as a chocolate teapot. 🧃🌀

On Oct. 29, Fed Chair Jerome Powell said a December cut was “not a foregone conclusion,” a remark investors took as hawkish – which means the Fed could delay rate cuts and keep conditions tight. Polymarket odds slipped from 89% the day before to as low as 22% by Nov. 20. A rollercoaster ride that left everyone dizzy. 🚂🌀

Sentiment shifted on Nov. 17 after Fed Governor Christopher Waller said the central bank should consider cutting rates next month, arguing that “the labor market is still weak and near stall speed” and that inflation is now “relatively close” to the Fed’s 2% target. A statement so poetic, it could have been written by a poet with a spreadsheet. 📊📜

Prediction Markets Expand as Demand Surges

Prediction markets, such as Kalshi and Polymarket, which enable bettors to wager on the outcomes of real-world events, have expanded their reach and influence this year. A trend as exciting as a sock puppet show. 🎭

On Nov. 13, Polymarket inked a multi-year agreement with TKO Group Holdings to serve as the official prediction-market partner for the Ultimate Fighting Championships and Zuffa Boxing. The partnership came shortly after it partnered with North American fantasy sports operator PrizePicks. Proof that even fight clubs need a bit of financial flair. 🥊📈

The same month, Kalshi raised $1 billion from Sequoia Capital and CapitalG, pushing its valuation to $11 billion, according to a TechCrunch report citing a person familiar with the deal. The new round followed a $300 million raise in October. A valuation so high, it’s practically a spaceship. 🚀

On Nov. 19, rumors emerged that Coinbase is developing its own prediction-market platform after tech researcher Jane Manchun Wong posted screenshots of an unreleased site. Wong’s images indicated the product would be offered through Coinbase Financial Markets and backed by Kalshi. A move as bold as a penguin wearing a top hat. 🐧🎩

On Wednesday, Robinhood said prediction markets have quickly become one of its fastest-growing revenue drivers, with more than one million users trading nine billion contracts since the product launched in March through a partnership with Kalshi. A testament to the power of “investing” with your phone. 📱💸

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2025-11-29 00:28