Ripple’s $75M Heist! 🤑

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Oy vey! Just days after the SEC did a runner, Ripple snatches back $75 MILLION! It’s a miracle! A *crypto* miracle! 🤪

$75M for Ripple! The SEC’s Pants are on Fire! 🔥

In 2020, the SEC sued Ripple, the biggest XRP holder, for selling $1.3 BILLION worth of the stuff. Four years and a whole lotta legal shenanigans later, Ripple’s chief legal officer, Stuart Alderoty, says it’s all settled. And get this: They got $75 million BACK! It’s like finding a twenty in your old jeans… only, you know, *way* bigger. 😂

The SEC claimed Ripple broke securities laws, selling XRP to unsuspecting schmucks and making a killing. But Judge Analisa Torres, bless her heart, disagreed. Partial win for Ripple, partial win for the SEC. It’s like splitting a pizza… unevenly. 🍕⚖️

(Judge Analisa Torres – she’s got more spunk than a roomful of Borscht Belt comedians! 😄)

Both sides appealed, naturally. Then, BAM! The SEC dropped *its* appeal. A few days later, Ripple did the same. Alderoty says the SEC gets to keep $50 million of the fine, and Ripple gets the rest back. It’s like a game of poker… with a lot more zeros. 🃏

“The SEC dropped its appeal… without conditions!” Alderoty said, probably while doing a little celebratory jig. “Ripple dropped its cross-appeal. The SEC keeps $50M, we get the rest back!” Sounds like a deal made in heaven… or maybe, you know, a courtroom. 🤔

The SEC has been dropping cases like hot potatoes lately. Maybe they got tired of losing? Maybe they finally realized crypto is the future… or maybe they just needed a nap. 😴 The new SEC chair, Mark T. Uyeda, wants to focus on “regulatory clarity,” which, in English, means less suing and more explaining. Progress! 🎉

“Explaining through releases instead of lawsuits?” Uyeda said. “Brilliant!” We think so too, pal! 👏

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2025-03-26 03:27