Robinhood’s Crypto Fortunes Take a Tumble: JP Morgan Foresees Less Glitter in Q1

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Matters of Current Interest:

  • Mr. Worthington of the house of JPMorgan has seen fit to declare Robinhood’s crypto trading revenue likely to swoon in the first quarter, as if the market itself were enduring a fit of delicate nerves.
  • The merriment of Q4 2024, wherein crypto was the belle of the financial ball, has now been replaced by a far less exhilarating scene.
  • With an air of careful detachment, Mr. Worthington has snipped his year-end price target to $44, from the hitherto optimistic $45, but sees no need for more drastic pronouncements.

Let it be known within gentle society that Robinhood, alias “HOOD,” whose crypto revenue had lately caused such agitation in Q4 of 2024, is not expected to repeat such a fairy-tale performance in the coming quarter—at least, not if Mr. Worthington of JPMorgan may be believed. He prophesies a lamentable drop in digital asset volumes, much as one might dread the return of rain upon the neighbourhood picnic. 😏

This modern trading court will reveal its first quarter’s fortunes just after the American bells toll the market’s close on Wednesday—a moment, no doubt, as eagerly awaited as Mrs. Bennet awaiting the latest on Netherfield Park.

No less than a 700% rally in crypto trading revenue had rendered Robinhood the toast of last quarter, with much congratulatory tea passed around. Yet alas! Mr. Worthington now observes such exuberance has, like all good assemblies, met its end; a languor has overtaken both equity and crypto markets, especially as the quarter’s timepiece ticked away. Perhaps the market simply prefers novels over numbers in the spring?

The estimable Worthington and his industrious companions reckon that Robinhood’s more daring spirits have traded some $52 billion in crypto this quarter (such sums!)—a steep fall from the dizzy highs of $71 billion in the preceding tale. He ascribes this to a “risk-off” temperament haunting the investment parlours and rendering investors rather more circumspect, if not outright faint of heart. Even so, Robinhood’s assets under custody should drop only 5%—to a staggering $183.3 billion, which, I daresay, is still enough to buy every drawing room in Derbyshire, with change for bonnets and ribbons.

There was, it should be noted, a brief flurry of retail enthusiasm in April, when news from Washington made the markets sit up straighter, if only for a moment. But Worthington regards this with arched brow, implying such excitement is about as enduring as Mr. Wickham’s promises. Softer interest in margin and derivatives—also suffered by Interactive Brokers—has surely not helped Robinhood’s prospects.

For now, Worthington clings to neutrality, reducing his price target by but a dollar to $44. The implication is clear: there is perhaps a 10% tumble yet to endure, and those who dream of sustained riches might do well to temper their anticipations (or at least not spend too soon on a new chaise). 💸

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2025-04-29 19:20